375
submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by AlmightySnoo@lemmy.world to c/programmerhumor@lemmy.ml
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] kibiz0r@lemmy.world 162 points 11 months ago

To be fair: If you are chaining ternary expressions, you deserve to suffer whatever pain the language happens to inflict upon you tenfold.

[-] Serdan@lemm.ee 16 points 11 months ago

Why?

It's perfectly readable.

[-] lowleveldata@programming.dev 38 points 11 months ago

It is sort of readable. A switch is "perfectly" readable for switching.

load more comments (7 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
[-] xedrak@kbin.social 60 points 11 months ago

I get hating on PHP is a meme, and the language certainly has faults, but I feel like it’s no more arbitrary than how JavaScript behaves. And just like JavaScript, if you follow modern standards and use a modern version, it’s a much better experience. The language is only as good as the programmer.

[-] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 53 points 11 months ago

but I feel like it’s no more arbitrary than how JavaScript behave

This is not the flex you think it is.

[-] xedrak@kbin.social 21 points 11 months ago

I didn’t mean it as a flex. It was a commentary on how the most commonly used programming language in current days is just as flawed as the most commonly used programming language in the past (in web development). Bad programmers are going to write bad code, regardless of the language.

[-] Funwayguy@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

I'd like to think Typescript does a lot of heavy lifting where JS fails when it comes to web development. On the otherhand there is no fixing fundamental flaws in PHP.

Sure bad programmers write bad code, but if a language tolerates something so obviously janky via implicit unseen magic, it's just encouraging bad practices. PHP makes this worse by tweaking core behaviours in weird and wacky ways that can easily lead to security vulnerabilities.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[-] Frools@lemm.ee 17 points 11 months ago

That's why JS gets hates on just as much as PHP, if not more so these days as JS is fuckin everywhere!

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 54 points 11 months ago

The fault is the programmer for not using a switch statement.

[-] thatwill@lemmy.world 56 points 11 months ago

"php doesn't stop me from coding like a moron, therefore php sucks"

[-] Araozu@lemmy.world 19 points 11 months ago

How about "php enables me to code like a moron", or even better, "php breaks common conventions and forces me to think about every little detail and special edge case, slowing me down if I don't want to accidentally 'code like a moron' "

Nested ternary operators emerge because of the lack of if/switch expressions (which is C fault), so they are "useful" (they shouldn't be). However, PHP is the only language that treats it as left associative. This has 2 problems:

  • You are forced to use parenthesis. Some (insane) people might do: (cond1) ? "A" : (cond2) ? "B" : "C" And it makes sense. Its ugly af, but it makes sense. But PHP now forces you to use more parethesis. It's making you work more.
  • It breaks convention. If you come from any other language and use ternary operators, you will get unexpected results. After hours of banging your head against the wall, you realize the problem. And now you have to learn a new edge case in the language, and what to do to actually use the language.

"But you shouldn't use ternary operators anyway! Use if/switch/polymorphic dispatch/goto/anything else"

True, but still, the feature is there, and its bad. The fact that there are other alternatives doesn't make the PHP ternary operator worse than other languages' ternary operator.

PHP works against you. That's the problem. The ternary operator is not a good example, since there are alternatives. But look at something so simple, so mundane like strpos.

If strpos doesn't find returns false. Every other language returns -1. And if you then use this value elsewhere, PHP will cast it to 0 for you. Boom, your program is broken, and you have to stare at the screen for hours, looking for the error.

"BuT yOU sHoUlD AlwAyS cHEcK tHe rETurN eRRor!"

And even if that's true, if we all must check the return value, does PHP force you to do so? Like checked exceptions in Java? Or all the Option & Result in Rust? throws, throws, throws... unwrap, unwrap, unwrap... (Many) people hate those features

PHP works against you. And that's why its bad.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] bastian_5@sh.itjust.works 6 points 11 months ago

I say that php breaks math entirely, and is therefore bad. "" == null returns true null == [] returns true "" == [] returns false.

In more recent versions it gets worse, because it has 0 == "any text" return true, "any text" == true return true, and 1 == true return true So indirectly 1 = 0, and now math is more directly broken.

[-] thatwill@lemmy.world 14 points 11 months ago

If you're trying to directly compare different variable types in any language without strong typing, you're going to have edge-case results which you might not expect.

My "coding like a moron" message still stands. PHP isn't a strongly typed language and it doesn't tell you off for trying stupid stuff like comparing a string with an int. Nor do other languages like JavaScript.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[-] pazukaza@lemmy.ml 5 points 11 months ago

But if you code like a moron the code should still behave as expected. People who code like this deserve a special place in hell, next to languages that behave like that.

[-] mikegioia@lemmy.ml 45 points 11 months ago

Hating on php is one of the reasons i left reddit. This is just people who don’t use php hating php for some reason. You can do dumb examples like this for any language. Low effort and funny for children.

[-] deaf_fish@lemm.ee 10 points 11 months ago

Your feelings are valid. I wonder though, would you put up this level of defense for posts making fun of arbitrary parts of non PHP languages?

You are not your favorite language. And I find most criticisms of most languages to be very valid. I don't think the intent of OP is to insult all PHP programmers. It's okay to like a language that has problems. All languages do.

[-] Doug@midwest.social 6 points 11 months ago

I'd wager prevalence is part of their problem. Jokes get tired after a while, but that doesn't always mean they stop.

PHP, like any language, has its problems, but it seems to get poked at a lot more often. But making the same joke over and over has been a problem long before reddit was a thing.

[-] mikegioia@lemmy.ml 5 points 11 months ago

PHP gets a totally disproportionate share of hate and that is the problem. Children like to dunk on PHP and a group mentality pushes it even more.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] ezchili@iusearchlinux.fyi 9 points 11 months ago

I used php for 2 years and I hate on it it's not just people who've never used it

load more comments (13 replies)
[-] Heavybell@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

Hey, I hate php AND javascript, and I've worked in both of them. :P

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] baascus@lemmy.world 38 points 11 months ago

Ever wondered about the array_fill function? It can be baffling. Try filling an array with a negative index:

array_fill(-5, 4, 'test');

Many languages would throw an error, but PHP? It’s perfectly fine with this and you get an array starting at index -5. It’s like PHP is the Wild West of array indexing!

[-] marcos@lemmy.world 18 points 11 months ago

Well, many languages are perfectly ok with negative array indexes.

But all of those languages are either statically typed ones where you declare the boundings with the array, or php.

[-] baascus@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

Absolutely, many languages do allow negative indices. The intriguing part about PHP, though, is that its ‘arrays’ are actually ordered maps (or hash tables) under the hood. This structure allows for a broader range of keys, like our negative integers or even strings. It’s a unique design choice that sets PHP apart and allows for some really interesting usage patterns. Not your everyday array, right?

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Windex007@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

You think that's bad, just wait until you hear what C does

[-] mosiacmango@lemm.ee 12 points 11 months ago

"Shot myself in the foot? No, no. I took out the whole leg."

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] asceticism@lemmy.fmhy.ml 36 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

This is not valid syntax as of 2020. PHP 8 fixed a lot of issue like this as well as a lot of function and variable type issues.

Also this was deprecated in PHP 7 (2015).

[-] ezchili@iusearchlinux.fyi 10 points 11 months ago

They deprecated nested ternaries?

[-] asceticism@lemmy.fmhy.ml 11 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Not nested but 'Unparenthesized'

Also per the error message here is it working:

[-] NorwegianBlues@sh.itjust.works 34 points 11 months ago

Sure, it's counterintuitive, but so is not bracketing things in ternary operations.

[-] ezchili@iusearchlinux.fyi 8 points 11 months ago

You know that programmers of other languages don't have to find excuses for their tool constantly, right?

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] akariii@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 11 months ago

that makes so much fucking sense

[-] kolorafa@lemmy.world 34 points 11 months ago

PHP Fatal error: Unparenthesized a ? b : c ? d : e is not supported. Use either (a ? b : c) ? d : e or a ? b : (c ? d : e)

[-] skullgiver@popplesburger.hilciferous.nl 31 points 11 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

[This comment has been deleted by an automated system]

[-] dot20@lemmy.world 29 points 11 months ago

Ah, I understand now. The expression is evaluated like this:

  • $a == 1 ? "one" : $a == 2 ? "two" : $a == 3 ? "three" : "other"
  • $a == 2 ? "two" : $a == 3 ? "three" : "other"
  • "two" ? "three" : "other"
  • "three"
[-] lightsecond@programming.dev 11 points 11 months ago

Halp. I don’t understand how it went from step 2 to step 3.

[-] sanguinet@lemmy.ca 30 points 11 months ago

It's cause PHP associates the if-then-else pair only with its immediate "else" option, not with the entirety of the line.

Let's go by parts.

$a == 1 ? "one" : $a == 2 ? "two" : $a == 3 ? "three" : "other"

Is $a equal to 1? If so, we're "set" to the value on the left, which is "one", if not then we're set to the value on the right, which is $a == 2. $a is not equal to 1, so we're set to the right value, $a == 2.

This replaces the relevant part, $a == 1 ? "one" : $a == 2, with $a == 2. So we're left with:

$a == 2 ? "two" : $a == 3 ? "three" : "other"

Next, is $a equal to 2? If so, we're set to "two", if not we're set to $a == 3. The comparison is true, so we're set to the value on the left, "two". The relevant part here is $a == 2 ? "two" : $a == 3 only, so it replaces it with "two" cause again, PHP is only associating with its immediate pair. So now we're left with:

"two" ? "three" : "other"

Finally, is "two" truthy? If so, we're set to "three", if not we're set to "other". Since "two" is truthy we're then left with "three".

It's super confusing for sure.

[-] lugal@lemmy.one 4 points 11 months ago

Thanks! I never worked with PHP but I understand your explanation. Making memes about languages is also about learning

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] fubo@lemmy.world 18 points 11 months ago
[-] AlmightySnoo@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago
[-] dot20@lemmy.world 16 points 11 months ago

Ah, I understand now. The expression is evaluated like this:

  • $a == 1 ? "one" : $a == 2 ? "two" : $a == 3 ? "three" : "other"
  • $a == 2 ? "two" : $a == 3 ? "three" : "other"
  • "two" ? "three" : "other"
  • "three"
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] fubo@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

If you think PHP is weird, go look up ZZT-OOP, the scripting language from Tim Sweeney's first game.

(No, a scripting language for game characters doesn't need integers. If you need to count, you can do that by moving blocks around on the game board. It's halfway between LOGO and Minecraft.)

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Lemmypy@feddit.nl 18 points 11 months ago

Finally got it...

$a == 1 ? "one" : ( ( $a == 2 ? "two" : $a == 3 ) ? "three" : "other" )

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Arotrios@kbin.social 12 points 11 months ago

Now do CGI.

Please. I worked with it for five years and I still don't understand it.

[-] hypertown@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago

!programmeranimemes@lemmy.world

[-] onichama@feddit.de 5 points 11 months ago

Thanks I hate it.

[-] Mookulator@wirebase.org 5 points 11 months ago
[-] BorgDrone@lemmy.one 25 points 11 months ago

To quote the guy who invented PHP:

"I don't know how to stop it, there was never any intent to write a programming language [...] I have absolutely no idea how to write a programming language, I just kept adding the next logical step on the way."

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2023
375 points (99.5% liked)

Programmer Humor

31229 readers
52 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS