this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2023
590 points (96.0% liked)

Not The Onion

12358 readers
204 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

Nebraska governor Jim Pillen, a Republican not noted as a women's rights supporter, yesterday issued an executive order "defining" males and females and the attributes thereof. The anti-transgender political grandstanding offers fusty explanations of the sexes–men are "bigger, stronger and faster" on average–in pursuit of Rowling-esque calls for sexual segregation (and even echoing her ostensibly feminist rationales) and not a lot else.

The order declares that, in matters of the state, the "biological differences between the sexes are enduring" and that the "sex" of a person will be defined by the gender designated at birth. In addition to specifically noting how boy, girl, man, and woman will be defined, the order also includes biological descriptions. …

"It is common sense that men do not belong in women's only spaces," Pillen said in the news release. "As Governor, it is my duty to protect our kids and women's athletics, which means providing single-sex spaces for women's sports, bathrooms, and changing rooms."

The reaction, at least from Democrats, is to point out that if it were enforced, the likely outcome would be Nebraska losing federal funding for womens' shelters.

"Today Governor Pillen, famous women's rights supporter, signed this offensive and ridiculous proclamation establishing a "Women's Bill of Rights." He should try saying this stuff to my face then we would see who's got what biological advantage," wrote State Senator Megan Hunt on Twitter.


top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Veraticus@lib.lgbt 316 points 1 year ago (14 children)

All we need to do is find a woman bigger, faster, and stronger than him, and then he's officially a woman by his own legislation.

[–] Carvex@lemmy.world 96 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

And women are worthless stay-at-home breed mares to them so I guess they should get a new Governor.

PS I'd pay good money to watch Britney Griner kick his ass.

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago

We tried. By God we tried.

Discount Lex luthor termed out and it was a three way race for the Republican nomination.

Democrats will never win the state again so it was a game of who's the least awful Republican?

Residents of Omaha and the surrounding area flocked to change their registration to Republican to vote in the primary. A moderate who wasn't fucking insane was running and we tried our hardest to get him the seat. The other two were so similar we thought they'd split the crazy vote and the moderates would win out.

He came in 3rd, by a wide margin.

[–] solidgrue@lemmy.world 61 points 1 year ago (2 children)

But why not does that larger woman simply eat the Governor?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] jtk@lemmy.sdf.org 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The internet needs to flood his inbox with challenges from women that would destroy him at arm wrestling.

[–] ShittyKopper@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 1 year ago

horny subtext

don't play into the game this is all part of the long con to get strong dommy women to slide into his dms

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] deft@ttrpg.network 15 points 1 year ago

This will make it so the state can only have the "One True Man of Nebraska"

load more comments (10 replies)
[–] mateomaui@reddthat.com 91 points 1 year ago (6 children)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 76 points 1 year ago (8 children)

The order declares that, in matters of the state, the "biological differences between the sexes are enduring" and that the "sex" of a person will be defined by the gender designated at birth.

That makes zero fucking sense

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 41 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This means that insecure men in Nebraska can now go in to the dive bar they get drunk at starting at 1030 AM, and hit on any woman in the place without fear of her secretly having a penis.

Not that there are any women in that bar, that they'd ever have a chance at taking one home, or, that this executive order actually means any of that. But the idiots who support this kind of thing will think it does.

[–] StandingCat@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

God i hate living here, because this is exactly how the rest of the idiots here think. But it’s too expensive to move right now.

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

My wife didn't want to move to Minnesota, so we bought a house here, and aren't likely to leave now. Had I not met her when I did I likely would have left a few years ago.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] Car@lemmy.dbzer0.com 68 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I wonder if you can legally change genders with this. If you're a woman who's bigger, stronger, and faster than the average male in Nebraska, then you satisfy this biological condition set forth in law.

[–] door_in_the_face@feddit.nl 66 points 1 year ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 65 points 1 year ago (4 children)

The nazis are back, Russia's trying its best to cause WW3, our rights are dropping like flies, oligarchs have become cartoonishly overt in fucking the rest of us cuz they know we'll just bend over and take it, and we're literally cooking our planet with cow farts and dinosaur juice to the point that its ability to support life is rapidly approaching a hard stop.

............and the thing we're putting our energy into is the dangly bits in our pants.

[–] Rozauhtuno@lemmy.blahaj.zone 29 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The nazis are back

They never left, they were bidding their time.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 62 points 1 year ago (2 children)

So if a body builder woman beats him up in one-on-one combat, he'll have to be redefined as a women? Where's the Celebrity Death Match reboot?

[–] pdxfed@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think he would be arrested for violating his gender assigned at birth?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] CandyPants@lemmy.ml 49 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Out of all of the problems we have, this joker decided this made up one was actually worth his energy and effort. What a fucking stupid time to be alive.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 48 points 1 year ago

This is anti-twink legislation, Ben Shapiro can't live up to this.

[–] gnuplusmatt@startrek.website 42 points 1 year ago

So in Nebraska a two men with a measurable difference in size and strength in a relationship are actually heterosexual?

[–] synae@lemmy.sdf.org 37 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Daft Punk could not be reached for comment

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] Delusional@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago

That guy definitely watches trans porn daily.

[–] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Apparently, from what I'm reading, this will also potentially cause women's shelters to lose federal funding. They aren't legally allowed to discriminate against trans-women, which means they'll be disqualified for getting funding.

[–] cyberfae@kbin.social 30 points 1 year ago

For them, this might be considered a feature rather than a bug.

[–] A_A@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

@Wogi@lemmy.world wrote in here 6h ago :

There’s no legal reason to define the genders, no ongoing court drama in Nebraska that hinges on this definition, nothing legally will ever be decided because of it. It’s just one idiot shouting out to a bunch of other idiots that he doesn’t like it when people who were born with one set of genitals want to have a different set of genitals.

What this will accomplish is added brain drain, an issue Nebraska sorely needs a remedy to, it will cost millions in court cases that will now be filed against the state and the governor, and it will cost women’s centers in Nebraska Federal money. All while doing absolutely nothing worthwhile for the state of Nebraska.

It’s Jim Pillen saying he wants a fight with a minority group. And it’s an idiotic call to arms at that.

N.B. : This excellent comment was unfortunately part of a thread which was deleted by the mod. I read the other comments in this post and, compared to the above, they're mostly not worth one cent.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Nikki@lemmy.world 34 points 1 year ago (6 children)

yeah cuz im such a big scary guy in my striped thigh highs, weighing in at 120 pounds

i can run away in a flash though :3

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] TwoGems@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I guess intersex people also don't exist good job loser governor

[–] cyberfae@kbin.social 13 points 1 year ago

He knows they exist, he just hates them just as much as trans people.

[–] MooseBoys@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Me who can’t do a single pull-up: I guess I’m a woman now?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] venoft@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago (2 children)

So whenever he sees a giant Dutch girl that would destroy his noodle arms in arm westling he's now officially a tiny little girl.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] ristoril_zip@lemmy.zip 26 points 1 year ago

After that he signed an order that declares his penis to be totally average or a little bigger than average, and that it's totally normal for it to be that color & shape and have a bend in it.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago (18 children)

Serena Williams or Brittney Greiner or Simone Biles could kick my fat ass three ways from Sunday. I'm definitely not bigger than Brittney, and there's no way I'm stronger or faster than any of them.

load more comments (18 replies)
[–] GhostOnTheHalfShell@kbin.social 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So if there is a woman bigger than him, does he lose his manhood?

[–] tburkhol@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

A "woman" bigger than him is automatically a man, by definition. Likewise, any "man" smaller than his wife is automatically a woman.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] nucleative@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How could this idea ever go wrong?

a strong woman

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] blazera@kbin.social 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Theres a lot of obvious layers of stupidity here, i wanna point out the ludicrousness of thinking you can define legislative legal terms through executive order.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] orca@orcas.enjoying.yachts 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The amount of time republicans waste fixing nothing is staggering. It’s like they exist to run out the clock.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] jray4559@lemmy.sdf.org 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

There is a missing "on average" in the title of this headline, which completely negates the oniony part of the sentence.

This bill did not say that men were exclusively bigger, stronger, and faster, or that women weren't. It just said that, on average, they are, which is true.

Why that is in an executive order, honestly, there is no good reason for it, but the principle is still the same: lying by omission is still lying, especially in a culture where people only read headlines.

[–] g0nz0li0@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

Why that is in an executive order, honestly, there is no good reason for it,

You got it right here but nevertheless missed the point pretty hard. What he said and how he said isn't the point of the article: what he did and why he did it is what is newsworthy.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] AnthoNightShift@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 year ago

My 6ft tall great grandmother would have scrubbed the toilet with that shrimp.

load more comments
view more: next ›