the common toxic straight relationship thing of "no opposite gender/gender-presenting friends" really crumbles when you think about the fact that bisexual people r real.
no friends, i guess wld be the logical end point of that scenario.
DoomBloomDialectic
joined 3 weeks ago
moodsmall job overshare/vent as a treat
switching to a field where i am constantly socially available (either to my colleagues (100% of the day) or the general public in addition to my colleagues (~50% of the day)) & there is zero privacy may have not been the move for a neurodivergent introverted sensory-issues-tweaker like me. and the fucked up thing is this is probably like a top two most tolerable job i've ever had & i still hate it.
im burning the fuck out on humanity and working with the general american public is part of what's got me in a depressive haze and it's making me a more isolated & less loving person & also i feel like my political organizing life is suffering for it. even just being mildly on the front lines at this job of all the ambient selfishness & entitlement & reaction floating around our class in this country has me in a nihilistic rut.
idk i am just struggling to find the lovable parts in people alongside the annoying/selfish parts even though i know rationally blah blah blah we're all results of material conditions, people are reachable/changeable, they aren't fundamentally bad, i've been many many worse versions of myself in the past so i should practice empathy & forgiveness to the greatest extent possible, blah blah blah yes i know and deep down i agree but rn i'm just not in that headspace.
like even when the public is Fine i feel like i sense a lurking darkness and transactional apathy and i don't know if this is just me/my insecurities and my temperament being bad for this work, if i'm sensing something real, or a mix of both.
(my coworkers are a whole nother matter but i'll leave that aside)
@un_mask_me@hexbear.net TY homie, so it's as i feared that there aren't really any great shortcuts around the legwork re: adhd meds, though i appreciate the tip about asking them to check other locations at larger chains. i'll start making calls tomorrow and hope for the best... 
appreciate you!!
lenin my goat
any USian adhd homies have tips for how to more efficiently track down meds when your pharmacy decides to nope out of carrying the shit that lets you function reasonably well? when there was a backlog last time i called a million pharmacies and they all told me they didn't have any, is there a more efficient method than hitting these spots one by one?? i have a week and change to find a new spot which could be worse but im still tweaking about this 
local pharmacy got bought out, not going to be able to order any schedule II substances for the foreseeable future
last backlog i called a dozen and a half pharmas, all either backlogged or lied to me about supply and treated me like i was just a tweaker
eternal death to the DEA 
srry i fell off our megathread convo about this! the truth is i personally just didn't really lol, i just noticed i was overall more able to Do Shit and felt that was good enough. it's probably good to be more intentional about it than i was though!!
fucking INSULTED that my "not gonna overshare" post got nearly tewnty (20) upbears. just to spite u f*ckers ur gotnna get an ATOM BOMB of an overshare
JOURNALPOSTING, NOT FUCKING AROUND THIS TIME
i'm sleepy. and capitalism, wage labor? yeah, you guessed it - still freakin hate'em
fuck now that you mention that, i remember that i do actually want to complain about my job & my growing sense of misanthropy/depression (related) but that would require a bit of oversharing... 
thank you i think you should feel free tho (if you want to that is, im not ur boss)
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crying can be good though, your brain might actually be cool and doing you a favor by providing a source of relief & catharsis
Edit: also friends of the present can cause good/happy tears!!