Kiagz

joined 4 years ago
[–] Kiagz@hexbear.net 8 points 20 hours ago
[–] Kiagz@hexbear.net 16 points 20 hours ago

Today has been a busy day, and I feel like I've made good progress with several important things. Had my first appointment with a speech therapist experienced in helping trans people, and now I'm back to voice training emilie->=3 Trying a different tactic, hopefully I'll actually be able to stick to it this time catgirl-sorry

[–] Kiagz@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago

Every monday I have an appointment with my therapist, but this time I show up only to find out that he's on vacation. Cool, not like they could have told me that ahead of time madeline-bruh

[–] Kiagz@hexbear.net 18 points 3 days ago (2 children)

feeling sad and lonely :(The loneliness and executive dysfunction are most noticable for me in the weekend. I have all this free time, two whole days where I can do whatever. But I have no friends to hang out with, and no motivation to do anything other than scroll through social media and think about how bad my life is catgirl-cry

[–] Kiagz@hexbear.net 10 points 5 days ago

Brain is empty today blob-no-thoughts

[–] Kiagz@hexbear.net 14 points 1 week ago (4 children)

sad :(My brain is so mean to me catgirl-cry Just a constant stream of negativity towards myself. Nothing is ever good enough

[–] Kiagz@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'm so impatient, I really wish it would go faster. But at the same time it's easier for me to keep boymoding when there's no big, sudden changes. It is what it is, I guess...

[–] Kiagz@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago (4 children)

According to my mom my face looks softer and more feminine catgirl-heart She also said my nose has gotten thinner transshork-happy Seems HRT is still doing it's thing, I'm just really bad at noticing it.

[–] Kiagz@hexbear.net 9 points 2 weeks ago

It's so great. You can't even buy a new washing machine now without AI being crammed into it. I'm sure the next kettle I buy will also have AI, somehow

[–] Kiagz@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

Yeah, I think this was for the best. Hopefully I can find something less back-breaking. I'm also not sure if my ADHD ass could have handled working in such a loud environment thonk-cri

 

I went from being a happy kid that smiled all the time, enjoyed drawing and had several friends to a pathetic adult with no talents, passion, creativity, friends or a job. Just a worthless and unlovable failure. And recently it's gotten so bad that I've started cutting myself and contemplating suicide. I just don't believe I have what it takes to get my life together, sadly.

 

I'm in desperate need of at least three different types of therapy at this point. General therapy for my abysmal self-image, gender therapy for all my trans related problems, and cognitive behavioral therapy for my ADHD. Feels like I'm so far away from living anything close to a normal, happy life madeline-sadeline

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