Smeagolicious

Oh hey, I'm unbanned. Neat. I don't know where it would be best to post this but my recent thoughts are as follows:

After all this I feel conflicted on returning to any sort of activity or interaction with the site. I don't really feel that seen or welcome as a non-white, trans, nd person and it has nothing to do with the tanks. Despite being here since the beginning, I've never been a poster of any renown(?), and as of late I feel like celebrating posting clout and reputation has often taken a higher priority in hexbear's culture than being a safe place for discussion for people like me.

The arrogant dismissal I and many others were recently confronted with is disgusting but, for me, unsurprising. I am disappointed but I expected something like this would reoccurr, as the phenomenon has been demonstrated many times since this site was chapo.chat.

The recent "struggle session" concentrated a lot of the feelings I experienced as an auDHD person throughout my life. Facing broad assumptions about how I felt and having to argue against a person built in the shape of me. It was uncomfortably similar to the arguments I've had with family, authority, educators, that have stemmed from them assuming the worst possible intention and refusing to hear otherwise. It was and is emotionally exhausting and simply not worth it for what this site has provided.

The worst was assumed of people because nobody in power bothered to ask or communicate, and when action was taken, founded on this blind assumption, not only were poc, trans, nd, people ignored but mocked, shamed, and banned.

The aspersions cast on me and others like me, in contradiction to years of our demonstrated cameraderie, have been disheartening. Ultimately I don't think it matters much personally as I've never been a celebrity or poster of renown, just someone who enjoyed the occasional dunk, art post, commiseration on the state of the world.

I don't have illusions of being some valued presence or improving the site culture or anything, and I don't mean all this to convey some high melodrama; for me it's just a dull grey disappointment.

yknow what just permaban my ass rn, this shit sucks

okay. I think what I'm saying isn't being heard - I've watched the modlogs and it doesn't answer it. I'm gonna let this blow over as I'm getting tired of explaining it though - here's hoping it's fixed whenever I get back

same, I think ppl including myself have been justifiably concerned, and my "faith" is pretty shaken atm, but this has been too stressful & aggravating for a debate about mod actions on a bear/owl/ppb based communist forum

I think people are rightly concerned about mods demonstrating pretty awful opinions & transphobia and it not being addressed directly. Banning the people who brought this to attention without directly talking about it is the problem that started all this - opaque mod decisions.

Y'all gotta get this shit sorted now

Yeah even outside the baffling mod comment, some of the posters in that thread deserve a high velocity

You get 3 scenario options: the above racist depiction of the middle east, the above racist depiction of american urban decay, or shooting some klan members. The first two drop your ass down a cartoon trapdoor

Personally the frustration was with the aspersions cast on the userbase rather than the change itself. I mean, I don't really like the arguments against keeping the two comms but whatever - the insinuations about the orientation/gender/racial identities of the pro dunk side & the seemingly secretive arbitrary mod actions are the problem. It is a very silly struggle session.