TheBroodian

I love this Comrade's videos.

I don't exactly know how to describe in well defined terms what I've been feeling, but I want to get something out of myself, and I'm curious if others can relate or not. I've been seeking community for a long time in my life, it's one of the biggest holes in my self-essence. Connection with persons, or people is like, the thing I want most in life. I mourn its absence more than anything else. But, when I try to pursue a community, and get closer to a group of people, I experience the opposite. I only feel more isolated, further disconnected, more alone. Earlier this year, I started doing work with a local revolutionary party, in part because I believe it's necessary and vital work, but also in large part because I feel like, if I'm going to find community, it's going to be with people who share common values and principals with me. I've been trying so hard to be a good member, but the more months that pass, the more alien I feel. I also feel a tremendous fear of letting these people down, or being unable to meet a task. Usually during meetings I feel invisible, or when I'm not completely invisible, I feel like they must see me as incompetent or useless, just taking up space. I don't at all mean to suggest that this is the group's fault, though - I've felt this way in any community I've tried to become part of. There is something in me that I don't know how to fix that renders me unable to be a viable group member. Does anybody else experience this?

I don't mean to revive the frenzy that was the GME stock fiasco from a month ago, but for folks that have tuned out since then (an understandable thing to do), the saga didn't end after the massive price spike was squashed. Hedge funds involved appear to be shorting and shorting the stock endlessly in an effort to (as far as I can tell) bankrupt Gamestop (this is the only way so far as I can tell that these hedgefunds would escape this situation victoriously). At this point, when this bubble pops, I reckon that this is going to be absolutely catastrophic as the entire market contracts in order to cover the debts that they've incurred by shorting this so much.

I'm poor