Zozano

They're called billionaires.

You forgot one

Christpussy

I'm tempted to say either The Witcher 3, Grand Theft Auto V, or Metal Gear Solid 5 (if you can look past the fact it's unfinished).

All three are exceptionally polished, have huge, highly detailed world's to explore, cinematic moments with blockbuster action scenes, smooth and balanced gameplay, are suitable for gaming noobs and veterans, and has moments to goof off and dick around.

It's hard not to be biased, though I'll state I don't personally like GTAV, I think it's perhaps too ordinary for my tastes and feels too restrictive in its mission structure.

Family is who you treat like family.

For the uninitiated: Playing God

Ted talks have sucked for at least 8 years

Obviously there are workarounds, but I suppose it provides a good justification for parents to deny their kids access to social media.

Decreased blood pressure leads to an expansion of blood vessels.

Don't forget to bring a towel!

Many games have launchers which can be skipped by entering a command to the launch properties in Steam. Check the games info page in ProtonDB