From the boring point of view of an office worker, who worked in a yellow office with furniture that was older than me....
The renovation of my office was a truly appreciated. Ergonomic tables and chairs, new carpet, actual white walls and getting rid of 80% of the old file cabinets make life so much nicer. I put up a union poster, a painting, two plants and i do not miss the yellow plastic stains one bit.
Edit: also this forum isn't the worst place to start. User ReadFanon has written great posts and comments about ADHD and AuDHD, which I found very helpful.
Here is a way to rethink the word lazy:
Lazy is if you can enjoy inaction: It is Sunday, I wanted to clean up my basement and work out. The sun is shining and a friend wants to hang out by the lake. I agree and we spent half the day loafing around, drinking beer by the lake. I was lazy and that's alright because I had a good day. Maybe I feel a mild sense of guilt but so what. I know I will get around to it another day and no real harm was done.
Lazy is not: I want to get up but can't. I want to clean my room, but don't know where to start so I don't. I want to do my work but can't. I want to do things for myself that I know will be good for me, but yet I still have only moved from bed to couch and back. For days, weeks, months. Years?
If your chronic inaction creates suffering and regret, you are not lazy. Your brain fails at providing you with a baseline of motivation, often stemming from both a chemical imbalance and long term acquired behavioural patterns.
ADHD is a very typical reason, depression another one. Sometimes one masks the other and autism correlates so strongly with ADHD, that people have coined the term AuDHD.
Please be kind to yourself and if you can, seek help from a psychiatrist or other mental health provider.
Disco Elysium took me three tries over three years to finish. I always knew I liked it, but I had to find the right moment in time for it to grip me. The music, the vibe, the art... But soo much reading.
Same with Dark Souls, same with Outer Wilds. All three are now among my favourite games of all time.
If it's not for you, it's perfectly fine. But some pieces of art are good because they are not the instant dopamine delivery method. I played vampire survivors for like 6 hours straight and never touched it again. I'll always think about Harry and Kim.
And yes, if you have ADHD, give it a try medicated. We always chase the dopamine and that sometimes blinds us to slower paced, more rewarding joy.
Thesis: ANarchism
Antithesis: brat
Synthesis: bratAN
Gwondolier, Conspictor of Fartflames non-stop 35-attack-combo is a little much, but I think after the last three days I'm getting the hang of it.
2 weeks ago CrowdStrike was just permanently taking up 30% of my CPU and kept my laptop running on maximum fan power. Apparently also due to a faulty update. Holy fuck, what is that company doing. And why is apparently everywhere?
Half my company is shut down. Laptops crash into blue screens after bios post and probably need to be wiped. Gotta love Microsoft. Exceptional customer service.
It's very unfortunate that alcohol is such an extremely simple molecule that is just intrinsically connected to carbohydrates. It just happens. Monkeys get drunk of fermenting fruits lying around. Boil potatoes, let them stand around until it smells funky and you're already half the way to vodka. Even if you eliminated all remembrance of alcohol, some dude would drink a bottle of grape juice that was a little too long in the sun and enjoy the feeling it gives him.
Addiction often stems from the circumstances in your life. It comes from desperation, suffering, needing to forget or to feel something, the need to distract, to numb or the desire to fit in. It comes from poverty, isolation and the lack of a future, for which it would be worth being sober for.
Capitalism enables and enhances all these feelings and makes this drug so extremely available at the same time. It remains the true enemy and is again at the core of our suffering. Alcohol will undoubtedly remain a problem in any society, but in ours it is a scourge.
His head was glowing orange to indicate his weak spot.
Thank you. I remembered watching a video about this topic, but couldn't remember where. This was it.
The fact that you don't give in to this, is a great sign of moving on. You're not blinded by desire or false hope. Your brain understands and your heart will follow. It's just a little more inert.
The biggest cry I had after a breakup was a month after I she left me. I was walking home at night and something reminded me of us walking the same way and I just stopped and cried sitting on a wall for 30 minutes or so. It hurt so much but now I know, that this was pure catharsis. I've tried to fight the sadness, "get over it", move on, not feel bad anymore. But what I needed was to bawl my eyes out until they burnt with snot spread all over my jacket. And when I was done I was okay.
Embrace it. You're alive and you loved and this what you get for that. It will pass, no matter what you do, but until then it's yours.
The only real advice i got is to listen to your favorite sad songs a lot and to take an hour long shower until your brain had dissolved in the mist and your skin is almost peeling off.