We dont have anything restarting the server automatically, but you are on to something.
There have been occurances of the lemmy software and postgres restarting now and then since the update (several times per day). Postgres memory usage has been enormous, and we turned off the extra web user interfaces for a while to see if its still happening. So far its actually looking a lot better and memory usage looks stable, so maybe our hunch is right....
Yes you can use this one:
https://github.com/LemmyNet/lemmy-ansible