psycotica0

As a cyclist in a city that's building bike lanes (don't know if it's yours), there's sometimes issues with cycle lanes that aren't obvious to people who don't use them. The most common is that they don't connect to each other. So a driver may feel like there's bike lanes here and there and everywhere but they don't see people using them. But actually there's a bike lane for 2 blocks over here, then nothing for 3 blocks, then that street over there has a bike lane, but it doesn't make it all the way to the intersection with this street. So it ends up being less like a network and more like a loose bag, and if I'm going to have to be up and down off the sidewalk anyway, I may as well stay up there.

But! There's a magic tipping point! At some point there's enough lane that it actually connects to something. Then that connection becomes a path, and then soon that path becomes a route! And now suddenly you can actually get somewhere entirely in those bike lanes. I've seen the number of people biking, and using the bike lanes, shoot up after this inflection point, because now it's a real option.

Either that or the "bike lane" is just a white line next to high speed traffic. Those don't make anyone feel safe, and most people would prefer having the curb there for their safety, so they mount the sidewalk for protection.

Actually, that Hertha Ayrton quote at the end? About the cats or whatever? That was actually me. I said that.

Forth

I'm not sure I understand. I have an ergodox moonlander and while it's true there is no dedicated button for Function keys, that's what the layers are for. It's kind of the point of a configurable customizable keyboard.

So for me I have all my special symbols under my left hand while my right hand holds a special key. Takes some getting used to, but once I had practiced the special keys are actually closer than before because they're all the normal keys. Similarly I have arrow keys under the keys labeled 'hjkl' when another key is held. My Function Keys are all accessible with special key and the number keys.

It takes some tweaking and tuning to figure out the layouts you want, but the whole point of a keyboard like this is that you can tune it to be whatever you need it to be. Now, if you don't like to tinker and just want something out of the box, I get that, but even the default config has function keys, I think. Maybe you just didn't read about how it works?

Could they just integrate with rclone? That would at least handle some of the layers.

I totally agree in principle, but to give this particular article the benefit of the doubt, I feel they're specifically trying to directly counter right wing talking points. So rather than saying "being a man is meaningless" to a bunch of people who feel strongly about male identity, they're instead saying "there's more than one way to man. Here's a good male role model now!" to try and reach some middle dudes who are conflicted and getting preyed upon.

I agree that in the fullness of time we shouldn't focus on this stuff, but I'm a bit worried about perfect being the enemy of good, and continuing to preach to our choir while 40% of dudes fall into a belief that women are the enemy and need to be controlled and shit.

I already responded somewhere else, but I have more response that doesn't make sense in that context.

First, about deepening conversation. I don't know about this guy, so I'll talk about myself. I have things I'm interested in, let's call them "interests", and I like to talk about them. And the only thing that stops me from talking about them constantly to everyone is the social understanding that they don't want to hear about my interests.

So all it takes to have me talk about stuff is enough questions to demonstrate you really want to know.

"What do you like about blah blah blah?" will probably get a short answer because he's used to people not really wanting to know more, so he's giving the smallest answer that answers the question. But then, you ask a question about his answer. "Huh, how is that different than blah blah?"

Now maybe longer answer, you listen and ask based on that, and if you can manage it you could also circle back to a previous answer to connect some dots. That's now a discussion! Now, of course, you do have to listen. Unsure if that's a skill of yours or not.

As for the asking out, I think you should do it. But if you don't trust yourself to deliver the speech live, you could write it down / print it out. Just make sure it contains escape hatches for him that assure him it's okay if he doesn't share your feelings, and that he can just tell you if that's the case, and probably ends by saying he doesn't need to necessarily give you an answer now and you're just happy you could get it off your chest. I think going for something casual is better than something heartfelt and romantic, but I don't know the two of you. The most important thing is that he knows, and the second most important thing is that you don't want it to wreck things if feelings aren't mutual.

And if you don't want to awkwardly read it, you could just hand it to him and let him read it at his own pace. This lets you watch his face while reading, if he makes facial expressions and if you can read them.

I would recommend against an email or a text, though. It feels like, from the bits of your personality I've picked up here, the time between when you send it to whenever he responds is going to be absolute torture for you. Whereas he might just be busy and not have even seen it yet, you'll already be inventing bad scenarios and deciding which new city you should move to since you obviously can't stay here, etc, etc 😉

So probably best to deliver it in person, maybe at the end of a hangout, so you can be sure he received it and read it. And I know you may be scared, but don't tell him to read it after you're gone, because that's now email territory where you can't ever know if he's read it yet! Just have him read it, assure him it's okay if he doesn't agree, and let him respond. And even if he doesn't have an answer now, you know it's done.

Good luck!

I'm a man, my wife made the first move, and I'm very glad she did! Taking the step from friend (or even just acquaintances) to more is risky for anyone. But, and maybe I'm biased here, I think it's currently even more risky for guys. Word can get around, and you're more likely to not just lose the one friendship, but to be labeled "creepy" generally if you're wrong. Of course it's possible for that to happen to a woman, but it's way less likely for a woman to be perceived as a creep in general, and also men don't talk amongst themselves the way women tend to.

Anyway, I knew my wife from a social space, and I didn't want to be the guy who poisoned the environment and made it an uncomfortable location for women by pursuing any of them. So I was friendly and tried to be as non threatening as possible, which meant no asking out. So I was very relieved when she made a move!

Don't know if your situation is anything like that, I'm just unsure of your source that says "active woman means short term". I mean, think of all the dudes hitting on strangers in bars which either turns into a one night stand or a short fling. The averages have got to be better than that, right?

Yeah, I think the image for concrete plates in the app is from the wiki, and is kinda unclear because it's some rectangles of concrete. And I'm looking down and what I'm seeing is a series of rectangles made of concrete. I agree, though, with that in mind I feel like the app could benefit from some guidance there to say "concrete, perhaps with joints, such as for sidewalks" or "concrete plates, precast elsewhere and installed. Rarely used" or something. Just a bit of a nudge in the right direction.

Yeah, my original interpretation of lit matched that. I have seen bus shelters with lights in my life, and this isn't one of those.

But the wiki makes it sound a bit more vague, even saying a footway lit by the glow of a nearby billboard is lit. But at that seems a bit... useless to me? Since basically anything within a city that isn't a forest will be lit by some kind of glow.

So that's what made me wonder if this tag really is effectively meant to indicate full darkness, essentially?

Right, okay, that's the way I interpreted it too. Thanks!

Yeah basically! There's a reason most romantic comedies end with them starting to date. It's because that's the zany exciting bit. After that part, the next 40 years or whatever is a roommate who lives in your home with you, and you do taxes together, and you eat dinner together, and you go to your shared friend's homes to hang out, and maybe you teach weird little gremlins how to be humans, and you talk after work about how your day went, and what you're planning to do in the future.

And that stuff can be great! But looking like a model doesn't make that stuff much better. Even people who live with models probably "get over it" pretty quick. You can't be in awe 18 hours a day every day for 15 years. But, having a shared foundation of experiences and mutual respect does make those things easier. Liking each other's friends does too.

You can learn to love someone, and you can learn to find an attractive person unattractive through interaction.