I don't like how I spent my time myself. I could do better

I hinted in the post I was 17
What I achieved doesn't satisfy me (nor my actions), and I want to change that

I'm not history-level obsessed on fame/glory/prestige (yet, lol) but I just want to prove myself or get validation etc. tbh
I just don't feel like I'm on the right track for the life I want.

Besides, you don't know how many people out there are looking at you right now and going, "damn, wish I was OP, having the maturity to question their place in the universe at only xx years old!"

And I'm saying the same for 14 year olds 😭 They're so mature and have some understanding of the life lmao, something I definitely didn't have. I was so dumb at the time.

I think my life goal is getting myself satisfied. Just getting more achievements to boost ego, and feeling pride etc.
Idk that's just how life looks like to me. I don't even seem to care about much else

I hope you're right. I don't think I'm doing enough to get into the state where I'm satisfied for the moment.
Of course I'm doing a lot in general (and definitely outlast my past by far) but everyone does, especially at my age. It feels more like the rate of growth that is important here.
And I want to "undo" mistakes. I want to work harder and do something so I can "catch up", perhaps not even a real person but the person I'd be if I spent my time productively. That's why comparing with myself doesn't feel satisfying

Now that I’m much older it grieves deeply me all the things I took for granted. All the missed opportunities. All because of some mix of laziness, lack of a long term perspective, lack of focus, lack of self discipline, and cowardice. Looking back, I realize many of my peers were more mature and focused.

I really feel this comment, especially the quote. I made so many mistakes that I regret now. And I'm just 17. I'm not sure how I came to this point. I want to avoid having my future self feeling similar to how I'm feeling.

What you're saying really doesn't satisfy whatever it is inside me. In fact, I could sacrifice these at least partially to achieve whatever it is that will satisfy me

I know some of those people so at least they're not lying. I told myself this all the time: "Oh they're lying for no reason on internet" "It's just being too privileged that makes you do these" etc. but there are really many people that are just genuinely good at using their time and opportunities efficiently. Lately I managed to at least partially do some the stuff I envied of other people, and it just makes me say "I want ALL of it". I want to know what they're doing when they wake up. I want to know how they think. Just whatever it is.

Maybe the title is kind of making you say what you're saying, but I really don't like how I've been using my time in the past. And I'm not using that to feel bad about myself. I just don't think I'm seeing through my mistakes enough. I can still change, like a lot.

Yes, I wish I could surround myself around such people more and more, it just helps you see things so much clearer. I'm still "looked up on" by most people around me and it actually pisses me up. Why are you telling me I'm doing very good, I'm the best etc.? It doesn't help me grow at all!

Let's not even think about these as "accomplishments". I really don't think they're as unpleased about what they're doing as much as I do, hence the title. Of course everyone have their regrets, that's not my point really. I need to do better because I feel the lack of it, isn't this valid enough?

if you don’t do them all before you’re 30 then you’re old and wasted your life and that could not be further from the truth.

I think they're actually right. I just look around, older people don't want to move an inch from their comfort zone. It's almost always what they do in their youth that defined who they are. If they are still doing good things in their life still, they were usually not sleeping around in their youth either. I think there is something about getting old that makes you less flexible in general, psychologically.

I'm definitely not where I want to be. I look at my last year, last 2 years, last 4 years, last 6 years etc. and it's as if I never done anything right with exceptions (something something broken clock). And when I try to do something today, many times I struggle because I didn't start early, or I just straight up can't. I can give so many examples to this today. Me sleeping around only hurts me in the future.

I just want to. And I believe I can, can't I? I don't think I lack anything they have. This is more of "I'm sad because of these people doing better than me" but "Oh, I can't believe I missed this. How can I do it myself as well?" approach.