The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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Alberta to opt out of pharmacare, renewable energy, the wheel (www.thebeaverton.com)
submitted 10 months ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social
25 comments fedilink
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Hearse Driver Makes Small Talk With Corpse Riding In Back (www.theonion.com)
submitted 10 months ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
3 comments fedilink
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Words Besides ‘Genocide’ U.S. News Outlets Use To Describe Genocide (www.theonion.com)
submitted 10 months ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
6 comments fedilink
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The Top 20 Things to Fear When Your Uber Driver Is Playing "The Joe Rogan Experience" (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 10 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
8 comments fedilink
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Nation Longs For Days When Poverty Mostly Meant Making Monkey Dance On Street For Cash (www.theonion.com)
submitted 10 months ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social
4 comments fedilink
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Nintendo Honors Game Preservation Efforts by Enshrining Names of All Who Attempt It in Lawsuit (hard-drive.net)
submitted 10 months ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social
19 comments fedilink
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Marianne Williamson Successfully Primaries Biden In All 63 Counties Of Astral Plane (www.theonion.com)
submitted 10 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
2 comments fedilink
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U.S. Airdrops Rubble Into Gaza (www.theonion.com)
submitted 10 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
8 comments fedilink
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We must stop the small boats so we can take care of our own first, insists man furious that taxpayer money is being used to feed hungry schoolchildren (newsthump.com)
submitted 10 months ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
 
 

The small boats migrant crisis must be stopped immediately, so we can focus on helping our own people first, according to a man who lost his mind when he found out Sadiq Khan wanted to feed hungry school children at the taxpayer’s expense.

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Poilievre says “female spaces” should be reserved for “biological females” and “the men who control them” (www.thebeaverton.com)
submitted 10 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
16 comments fedilink
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Christian Man Persecuted Simply For Driving 90 Miles Per Hour In School Zone (www.theonion.com)
submitted 10 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
12 comments fedilink
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Defiant Nikki Haley campaign refuses to quit, “we have tonnes of support from our voter” (chaser.com.au)
submitted 10 months ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social
9 comments fedilink
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Zelensky Challenges Putin To Settle Ukraine War On The Dance Floor (www.theonion.com)
submitted 10 months ago by raoulraoul@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
16 comments fedilink
 
 

Worth it just for the photo!

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'Hundreds Relieved of Existence Following Spirited Mishap at Gaza Food Truck' Writes New York Times Editor About War Crime (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 10 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
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Mitch McConnell Donates Body To Lobbyists For Research (www.theonion.com)
submitted 10 months ago by can@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
12 comments fedilink
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Gen Z Announces Julie Andrews Is Problematic But Refuses To Explain Why (www.theonion.com)
submitted 10 months ago by RobotToaster@mander.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social
18 comments fedilink
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Litter-Robot Recalls Thousands Of Self-Cleaning Litter Boxes That Accidentally Transported Cats To Year 1300 (www.theonion.com)
submitted 10 months ago by tree@lemmy.zip to c/theonion@midwest.social
5 comments fedilink
 
 

read more: https://www.theonion.com/litter-robot-recalls-thousands-of-self-cleaning-litter-1851286099

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Sasha Obama Accused Of Nepotism After Getting Elected President Of Armenia (www.theonion.com)
submitted 10 months ago by tree@lemmy.zip to c/theonion@midwest.social
7 comments fedilink
 
 

read more: https://www.theonion.com/sasha-obama-accused-of-nepotism-after-getting-elected-p-1851282158

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Gov. Abbott Enlists Texas National Guard to Shoot at Wildfires (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 10 months ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social
21 comments fedilink
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Polish Man That Landlord Sent Over Smashes Hammer Through Wall, Leaves (www.theonion.com)
submitted 10 months ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
3 comments fedilink
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Conservative Think Tank Spends $40 Million Trying to Frame Girl Scout Cookies as Woke (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 10 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
31 comments fedilink
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Top 10 Movies That Have A Climax Involving a Giant Beam in the Sky (hard-drive.net)
submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by Aatube@kbin.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
11 comments fedilink
 
 

Why was Hollywood so obsessed with sky beams? I mean they cared more about making sky beams evil than making sure we knew how evil their producers were.

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Malfunctioning embryo freezer charged with mass murder (www.thebeaverton.com)
submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social
7 comments fedilink
 
 

HUNTSVILLE, ALABAMA – Due to recent changes in Alabama state legislation, a malfunctioning embryo freezer has been charged with mass murder.

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Nation Likes It When Hamburger Bun Already Cut (www.theonion.com)
submitted 10 months ago by tree@lemmy.zip to c/theonion@midwest.social
5 comments fedilink
 
 

read more: https://www.theonion.com/nation-likes-it-when-hamburger-bun-already-cut-1851276816

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12-Year-Old Spends Entire Hiking Trip Fantasizing About Which Video Game He’ll Play When He Gets Home (www.theonion.com)
submitted 10 months ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
59 comments fedilink
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