Misleading headline. The fucker is still alive.
this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2024
375 points (98.2% liked)
The Onion
5795 readers
880 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
- The Onion
- Clickhole
- McSweeney's
- Reductress
- The Chaser
- The Hard Times
- The Needling
- Tattletale Times
- The Beaverton
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
Yeah... Not really an eat the onion situation, but my first thought was this was a satire on actual news that he was dead.
Got my hopes up for a sec. The world will be a better place when that evil traitor finally dies.
That was my thought process as well, that this was a piece they had waiting for the right moment.
Might be a bit disrespectful to do that, eh? I'm pretty sure no outlet has actually satirized a real recent death
It'd be disrespectful as fuck. Which is exactly what he deserves.
I feel like there are some universal standards that need to be applied to everyone, especially since this guy didn't do something similar.
Agreed - I propose that as a universal standard, we celebrate the death of evil individuals with good spirits and good humor.
Affording dignity to traitors like Mitch McConnell, even posthumously, serves only to encourage others to follow in his footsteps, which brings only agony to the living.
So when he finally does us all a favor and stops stealing our oxygen let us dance upon his corpse (metaphorically ofc - your shoes would become absolutely disgusting if you took that literally).
I mean they paid for it, along with his soul
Shit. Thought he was actually dead
They're just going to dump it somewhere like all their other toxic waste.
The body spins inside it's compartment when democracy works and slows down to a crawl as government approaches fascism and finally stops to a comfortable sleeping position when dictatorial fascism is achieved.
Democratically minded leaders are considering using the spinning corpse and attaching it to a generator as a possible source of free electricity.
I will celebrate the day mitch dies.