this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2024
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Source: Bad Wonton

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[โ€“] lvxferre@mander.xyz 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That's an interesting take! After thinking a bit more on it, I think that it's going both ways, depending on utterance:

  • the speaker into the hearer's group ("how are we going today?"), for fake camaraderie;
  • the hearer into the speaker's group ("we don't do that"), to manipulate the hearer's behaviour

The later would work as you described, but the former also exerts some pressure - because rejecting someone from your group is a face-threatening act for both sides (i.e. "you're not one of us" is shitty to say for the hearer but also for the speaker themself).

[โ€“] theneverfox@pawb.social 2 points 3 months ago

Ah, I see what you were getting at now. Like "where are we going tonight?", it's a mirroring of the same concept, I think it's fair to call that forced inclusion. Like you say, directly excluding someone is rude, so forcing that choice is pretty manipulative