this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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Inspired by this dorky exchange I had, thank u BountifulEggnog.

I want to know what your gender means to you, how you define it, what it means for you to "be" that gender and how you define it. Don't fuss about 'correct definitions' or anything, this is about your experience, I want to know what it means to you. How you relate to that gender, perceive it.

Genders have a social construction aspect and is very subjective, so I think people's subjective, personal views of their own are both important and interesting. Inquiring mind wants to know! interviewer

I'll share some of mine I guess.I was a trans woman until the contradictions sharpened to a razor's edge after reading Gender Outlaw and The Gender Accelerationist Manifesto. My brain got cracked in half. I have always hated the effects testosterone would have on my body, so estrogen was a given, but while I do identify with certain things that are commonly associated with being a woman... if nothing is inherently gendered, what even is a gender? niko-concern I had a whole little episode about it in the megathread once.

As I went on from there, I realised that while I like certain things about "being a woman", equally I found I'd been sort of stifled by trying to fit into the social role. The women I have always related to most are the cis autistic women who basically yeet presentation in favour of dressing for sensory comfort. Almost kinda non binary, in a way... The more I interrogated binary gender in relation to myself, the more I dug up stuff like this. Also I didn't really like that "woman" is associated with cis people a lot, I really like the trans part of my identity, feel a lot of love for it. I've felt freer and mentally clearer and truer to myself as a Non Binary Transfem, it's cool and funny. What does it mean to me? It represents my goofy sometimes-androgynous presentation, my lack of cissie gender, how being neurodiverse influences my view, being a funny noody goblin. Share yours =)

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[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I want to be cute and I don’t want to be a man.

A lot of this has to do with society, like externally I would never want someone to perceive me as a man and I would like for them to perceive me as cute or a woman.

But also internally I want those things.
I don’t like the idea of being masculine, or at least being the level of masculine a man is.
I want nothing to do with the effects of testosterone physically and mentally.
I like being soft, I don’t care about being strong (even in a positive non-toxic way).

Obviously like…Men can be feminine, to some extent and Women masculine and even I’m some parts of each, it’s not a hard binary.
But the part I’d emphasize or want people to acknowledge first is the feminine.

[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Hello ✨

I see, yeah I've noticed a few people have a strong repulsion to being or being perceived as man, or just testosterone playing a large factor, which is cool, I thought I was kind of alone in that being a huge motivator for some reason.

The part you'd want to emphasize and acknowledge first is feminine, and so woman(or girl idk) works best for you? lea-think

[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, idk to me it’s like…I have a lot of boyish interests and stuff like that, but it’s not like…”oh you have to be into shopping and whatever stereotype to be a girl.”
But at the same time I feel like there is a difference in liking stuff, even “masculine” stuff, as “a girl” versus as a “guy.”
At least.

Kind of in the same way loving a woman as a woman is different than loving one as a man in some ways.

[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago

I think I follow, that's a good comparison, the way ur gender informs how you interact with more or less everything. Understandable tbh =)