chat

8190 readers

353 users here now

Chat is a text only community for casual conversation, please keep shitposting to the absolute minimum. This is intended to be a separate space from c/chapotraphouse or the daily megathread. Chat does this by being a long-form community where topics will remain from day to day unlike the megathread, and it is distinct from c/chapotraphouse in that we ask you to engage in this community in a genuine way. Please keep shitposting, bits, and irony to a minimum.

As with all communities posts need to abide by the code of conduct, additionally moderators will remove any posts or comments deemed to be inappropriate.

Thank you and happy chatting!

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

EmmaGoldman@hexbear.net

Quimby@hexbear.net

ZoomeristLeninist@hexbear.net

SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net

InsidiousTrackers@hexbear.net

Sulvor@hexbear.net

Chat, is it creepy to have a totally unjustified crush (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 month ago by lil_tank@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

100 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I'm not sure I should start this conversation and I've been rewriting this a lot lol. But I could use some relating and opinions from fellow internet leftists

Ok so, to keep it really simple: I happened to share a meal with somebody I really liked. I have interacted casually (no flirting) for about a dozen minutes total and we exchanged contact because of shared-interests (not dating)

Now my brain is fried

I'm thinking about her way too much and it gives be bad vibes, she probably has no idea and I can't imagine the sheer horror of realising that someone is thinking this much about you after so little interaction.

I want to be a well-behaved straight (kinda bi but that's beyond the point) guy, I'm trying to be an ally to the feminist cause, so, failing this spectacularly at behaving normally in relation to women disgust me. I know I can't remove the patriarchy from my body but I damn wish I could.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] Andrzej3K@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If you try to pursue a platonic friendship with someone you are crushing on, that has the potential to turn quite ugly, speaking from experience. Obvs you know the situation better than me, but one might say that carrying on like that is even dishonest/unfair to both parties. It will be way harder to salvage a friendship if this comes out later on, when you both know you've been continuing under false pretenses.

As for appropriateness, there's nothing weird or creepy about asking someone out! You can even lampshade the awkwardness it if needs be. You're making out that boundaries were set when you spoke with her. Is that true? Because asking her out is how you give her a chance to set those boundaries.

[–] lil_tank@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

Okay I'll consider, thanks for the wisdom comrade Care-Comrade