this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2024
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[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 43 points 1 month ago (2 children)

See?

This is why I practiced end of world survival

While everyone else is running around screaming, I'll be filtering my water with tree bark, clay and coffee filters

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago

I never googled but I always wondered how to grow healthy trees 100s of feet down.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So you can go on to struggle every day and die miserably in a boat nuclear hellscape. Fuck that. Immolate me good

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I don't live near enough to anything that would take a direct hit, so I am left struggling either way

[–] Des@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

everyone hopes they'll be turned into plasma but in reality we all just get horrible 3rd degree burns

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Hooray!

I've been practicing my ghoul voice too

[–] Des@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

excellent! for greatest effect, when you experience the bright flash be sure to open your mouth wide as possible and point directly at the airburst

[–] AssortedBiscuits@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

Most "middle of nowhere" places in the US are where the ICBM silos are located, so you should still be on track to be completely vaporized by enemy nukes.

[–] Mantikora@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If you survive, please be good to animals.

[–] HelltakerHomosexual@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

no, its gonna be a burnt wasteland, what are you even talking about what animals

[–] Mantikora@hexbear.net 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If he'll survive, I'm sure some animals will survive with him too.

[–] HelltakerHomosexual@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

this is a hypothetical out of a joke

also even just taking the dumb premise seriously in order survive you usually have to hunt. maybe he can have some pets or the beans grow really big because radiation lol.

Most likely is that everyone dies including the animals. Earth is uninhabitable until the sun goes supernova, and all that remains is a pathetic gas cloud of a race that couldn't stop itself from being greedy barbarians.