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An infallible dating strategy (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 months ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/whitepeopletwitter@sh.itjust.works

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[–] Signtist@lemm.ee 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I dunno how you went about it, but I've given some pointers to friends who weren't having any luck with online dating, and a lot of them were being too passive about it, basing their potential match choices mainly off of "vibes" and sending mostly generic opening messages - the quantity-over-quality approach.

While I was on the site, I spent hours a day going through every single person's profile - looking it over to really get as best of an understanding of the person as I could - and if I took interest in a few points, I'd send a message personalized to them based on what I saw on their profile. I also made sure that my own profile was well fleshed out, filling every field with well thought out responses, and putting up pictures of me hanging out with friends and doing activities like cooking and going to an amusement park.

Some, though not all, of the people who followed my advice eventually found success through dating sites. If you haven't tried all this, I'd suggest giving it a shot. If you have, sorry for being presumptuous, and I hope that you find who you're looking for eventually.

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I spent hours a day going through every single person’s profile - looking it over to really get as best of an understanding of the person as I could - and if I took interest in a few points, I’d send a message personalized to them based on what I saw on their profile. I also made sure that my own profile was well fleshed out, filling every field with well thought out responses

I appreciate the advice, but I did all of this as well! I just don't have the pictures of adventures because that's not me lol I used to do a lot of hiking, but I've noticed a lot of profiles mention "I don't care about your hiking or catching fish" (I don't fish, but it was a common thing I'd read.) I think it's just the kinds of people around me are too different than I am.

My self image definitely doesn't help either. I'm of the age where everyone is a professional and I'm just a worthless shitbag factory supervisor.

[–] thanks_shakey_snake@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Being a factory supervisor isn't a worthless shitbag job.

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It sure pays like one lol a bit better than a lot of other jobs an "uneducated" schmuck like me can get I suppose. I think it's just how society views some types of jobs that leaves me feeling worthless.

[–] thanks_shakey_snake@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 months ago

Yeah well society is an asshole and personally I ignore most of what it says.

You're in a position where you can affect whether the people around you feel like a worthless piece of shit, or like a valuable, appreciated human being. If you're usually doing the latter and trying to avoid the former (and make it right when it does happen) then you're not a worthless piece of shit.

You deserve to receive that too, and I'm sorry that you aren't.

[–] Signtist@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That sucks, bud. I hope your future love makes their way to your living room eventually!

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 2 points 2 months ago

Thanks! I always keep a window open just in case! Lol :P