Final Fantasy XI
Final Fantasy XI is the eleventh numbered installment in the… Okay, you know what it is, I’m just going to tell you about one of the storylines!
During the Wings of the Goddess expansion, adventurers will be sent back in time to experience the events of the Crystal War, a cataclysmic event that is the foundation for conflicts of the modern-day timeline. Should an adventurer choose to serve the Kingdom of San d’Oria, they will be immersed in the story of the Young Griffons—a group of children who would see themselves knights, many of whom grow into prominent characters later in life.
Among the Young Griffons, the player will find Bistillot, a shy boy who doesn’t like to be seen. With his penchant for engineering, shy demeanor, and lack of combat potential, Bistillot prefers to spend his time inside of an orcish war machine that he was able to repair to working condition.
He is often seen before he is heard, with his signature phrase, “HAAAALLOOOOOOOOO” being used to hail the adventurer. Through the course of the story, Bistillot finds his way, even contributing to the war effort with his engineering skills.
However, when another member of the Young Griffons is kidnapped and taken to the present day, the adventurer must return to the present day and reunite with the Young Griffons’ present selves! The adventurer’s first contact in the present day is Bistillot. When the adventurer hears the signature “HAAAALLOOOOOOO,” Bistillot approaches the player, but what the player sees is… a woman?? She introduces herself as Bostilette, a “friend of Bistillot.”
After the rescue mission, Bostilette comes clean. She is, of course, the very same Bistillot who was a little boy twenty years earlier. She explains that she was very sick as a baby, so her parents gave her a boy’s name so that she would be stronger and survive the illness. Once she overcame the illness, she was comfortable to reclaim her name and gender. Well, that closes the book on that story, except… I’ve decided that’s bullshit!
I have unilaterally decided that Bostilette is trans, the sickness she had was dysphoria, she stayed in the orcish war machine because she was an egg, and I hope you all agree!
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dysphoria, anxiety
Usually it's worrying about failing at whichever binary gender I'm more likely being clocked as in whatever social situation that I'm anxious about"A guy is talking to me and it's a Normal Cishet Guy Scenario? He probably is thinking 'this other guy seems kinda fruity and I think he has little tits?' wtf"
"A woman is talking to me and it's a Normal Cishet Lady Scenario? She's probably thinking 'this tall kinda butch person might be a guy?' wtf"
If I were a bolder person and less dysphoric about traditionally masc features, I might lean into genderfuck kinda presentation just to make it obvious to anyone in whatever situation that I'm not either kind of cis and I'm not failing at doing one of those, my gender is just Weirdo and I can excell at that
Full face of makeup with a gay lil mustache ass look type deal, skirt and heels with a men's dress shirt and tie kind of deal, idk
I think it's rad when other people do that but I mostly just want to blend in and not draw attention to myself and just aim for Subtly Feminine But Sorta Androgynous