this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2024
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Hello everyone! Hestia here with a new Megathread! Years ago, before I transitioned and when I was still in college I took an anthropology class. My favorite part of the class was when we were covering different gender customs across the globe and got to make a report on one of them. I can't remember exactly which one I chose for that project, but what I do remember is a map with different pins scattered on it with various forms of gender-queerness. I decided to track it down and share it with you folks!

https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/0/viewer?ll=8.016975588774075%2C64.4248907814756&z=2&mid=1zDWxhBN5aOofwpE-FkZWQsiFDlE

Edit: you have to open this in a browser, if you're on a phone it will automatically try to open it in Google maps and won't bring up the info.

This map provides a brief summary of these genders, but does not go in depth. If you find any you're interested in, feel free to do some further research and share your findings here. I'll pin a comment to this post you can attach them. I'm going to share a couple that I found interesting and decided to look further into myself, both of them are non-binary and native american in origin.

The first one I want to talk about is the Winkte, which is a third gender role that was particulatly notable in the Lakota tribe The Winkte are seen as half-men, half-women, and considered sacred. They are typically AMAB and historically have served unique roles in matters of romance and matchmaking and often served as intermediaries for prospecting couples and their families. They also participated in war parties, functioning primarily as witnesses to battle and as doctors to care for the injured. They were also seen as seers, able to forsee paths to victory.

https://www.sdpb.org/blogs/arts-and-culture/the-winkte-and-the-hundred-in-hand/

This next one I'm going to talk about seems mostly local to the Zuni people called the "Lhamana" and I find the Zuni culture to be particularly fascinating, even just doing a cursory glance at it.

Gender roles were well defined in Zuni culture, but the Zuni also valued the concept of a "middle" as it represented stability. This originates from their creation myth, which I won't go in detail here because I don't feel qualified to summarize it, but it's in the link down below.

The Zuni culture is pretty neat and they don't refer to gender when talking about children. They believed that gender wasn't an inborn trait but something you acquired as you approached puberty. I wish this was the western approach, but alas.

As children approach puberty they begin to differentiate through different hair styles or clothing choices. AFAB Lhamana would grind corn and make a bowl of stew when they get their first period. There's probably some cultural significance to this, but I'm not going to do a deep dive on it right now. AMAB Lhamana would start to wear dresses once they hit puberty and start performing women's work. Both AMAB and AFAB Lhamana were allowed to switch between male and female gender roles as they pleased.

https://owlcation.com/social-sciences/The-Middle-Gender-in-Zuni-Religion

That's all for now! To wrap thing up I would like to invite yall to our public matrix server! https://matrix.to/#/#tracha:chapo.chat

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[โ€“] ashinadash@hexbear.net 14 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

slightly better-formed whiningThe more I go on the more I am convinced that taking a monthlong sabbatical from life (almost my entire life is queers in the computer) broke something catastrophically in my brain. I am now pretty sure that leaving everyone and everything for longer than like, two days was a huge mistake.

I don't seem to be real normal about it anymore, which might be due to the realisation that talkin' to people is both something I need else my sense of self will melt, (no I don't know why) and a difficult tiring spoon-loss activity. Idk, but it seems like I'm not real capable of thinking about social matters without bursting into tears anymore. What even is wrong with me? badeline-concern

It's possibly true that being on the receiving end of a landleech rentdue notice has ended my ability to relax, which, sucks if true. The chronic pain bs is definitely cutting into my spoon supply. But more broadly it feels like what small scraps of emotional regulation I had just disappeared. My journal entries all look like Nevada paragraphs, and while your Ash will usually sprinkle in Nevada-esque embellishments because the orange book is her entire personality, if she starts writing entire paragraphs of weird dejected overly emotional snarky bullshit, that may be indicative of a problem! catgirl-sorry

It could be withdrawal from a single 37.5mg tab of tramadol causing this too, which I am having muscle twitches and shit, but Idk if "bawling your eyes out at the slightest provocation" is a tram withdrawal thing, it's been like four days or so. If yes I hate it.

I'm also bad at time management, I am told, which is true because I have some kind of brain issue where I haven't been reading Psycho Nymph Exile enough. Mostly making time for reading takes effort, and also bending my brain around weird things takes effort :3 so it's been a few days and I need to YELL AT MYSELF to read gay slop.

TL;DR my feet hurt I wish I had spoons! catgirl-flop

[โ€“] lilypad@hexbear.net 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

::: spoiler spoiler

talkin' to people is both something I need else my sense of self will melt, (no I don't know why) and a difficult tiring spoon-loss activity.

Idk if this is your experience, but i find identity is a social thing, or at least has a large social component. If im not socializing regularly, "i" ceases to be. Identity exists in between people ig vivian-shrug

[โ€“] ashinadash@hexbear.net 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

spoilerI find this to be true as well, at least to an extent. I wrote in my journal weeks ago,

I think my sense of self is stronger when being social because of the contrast probably. Of course it's cool to go "oh yeah, ooh me me!" or whatever, that's a big aspect of the thing. But equally I get a lot out of going "no, that isn't me, can't relate". Sounds like it should be a negative experience, but it fires my brain because it's constantly asking me to draw lines denoting where I end and others begin. Without that I find my sensibilities, sense of self, kinda melting.

Of course it took me several more weeks after that to get back here madeline-deadpan I am so fuckin smart obvs. In seriousness I kind of wish my self was firmer than this, that I could exist as an island.

[โ€“] lilypad@hexbear.net 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

::: spoiler spoiler

seriousness I kind of wish my self was firmer than this

I know that feeling so well omg, its so frustrating to have an unstable sense of self. Idk what will work for you, but for me it was socializing (and meds to make socializing easier lol)

[โ€“] ashinadash@hexbear.net 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

spoilerI hate anxiety medication I hate anxiety medication :3 I've tried a few, SSRIs, Gabapentin, Loprazolam for panic attacks, maybe some other things. None of them really helped for more than a few weeks, and most had baaaad side effects.

If you know any good ones though! โœจ

[โ€“] lilypad@hexbear.net 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

::: spoiler spoiler Idk for anxiety, mood stabilizers have been what worked for me (after several failed antidepressants that made me crazy crazy-frog-trans)

[โ€“] ashinadash@hexbear.net 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Should I mood stabilisers then thonk-trans

[โ€“] lilypad@hexbear.net 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

They may work for you, they may not emilie-shrug they help with my social difficulties and somewhat with my rsd.

[โ€“] ashinadash@hexbear.net 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

they help with my social difficulties and somewhat with my rsd.

I WANT THIS catgirl-cry what happens if I do it huh... what then......

[โ€“] lilypad@hexbear.net 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Then youll find out if it works maya-devious

Aripiprazol is a very lowkey mood stabilizer if you want to talk to your doc about it vivian-shrug

[โ€“] ashinadash@hexbear.net 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Thank you, I might - coming on and off meds all the time blows but if I have a chance to fix my anxiety, may as well keep trying...

"Atypical antipsychotic" though, goddamn...

[โ€“] lilypad@hexbear.net 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, ive got more than anxiety going on in my brain wtf

mental healthGot a bipolar 1 diagnosis a few days ago. Been on the meds for a month. Theyve been great, but the diagnosis has me somber ig vivian-shrug been recontextualizing my past experiences, which is difficult.

[โ€“] ashinadash@hexbear.net 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

mental healthPaat recontextualising is def unfun but I'm glad to hear you have meds that are working for you so far โœจ

[โ€“] lilypad@hexbear.net 3 points 6 months ago

Ty, things are overall good cause of them

[โ€“] rtstragedy@hexbear.net 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

im backI'm gonna be bold here and say that I think needing to connect with people is a reasonable feeling - after all, it's why we're all on this site, right? And why the word friend exists. My therapist told me that sometimes people are needy and sometimes they are flexible, and that that's how we are. She said it neutrally too, implying it's okay for me to need things from the people around me.

I hope that you can figure out why you are feeling sad about social things though, I think that journalling is a good idea. I've done a lot of it lately and sometimes it helps. If you're writing things about specific situations, that may be an indicator that maybe you're not getting your needs met in a certain situation and it might be worth talking with whoever is involved kindly to express yourself and what your hopes are for the interactions? Sometimes even just expressing yourself can help untangle the thoughts, and just being seen and understood for how you really feel can help. And of course ... in the end, you may have to compromise with people a bit due to reality/logistics/etc but I find just being heard compassionately takes me 90% of the way to being okay.

But I'm not sure if withdrawal from tramadol could be causing some/all of it, I would just be worried if you were feeling real non-med-related things and not acting on them.

[โ€“] ashinadash@hexbear.net 7 points 6 months ago

waow same!

needing to connect with people is a reasonable feeling - after all, it's why we're all on this site, right?

Yeah but catgirl-cry look at the mess weh! I hate! My brain thinks it's kind of bold of Cool Therapist to say that, though. Needing things from people? Novel concept...

Also yes I journal obsessively I'm back in the flow finally! Every day nearly! niko-happy lfg

If you're writing things about specific situations, that may be an indicator that maybe you're not getting your needs met in a certain situation

Hmmmmm... lea-think I'll try to keep it in mind, but weirdly I don't think I have anything like this, that I know of anyway. If I do that shit's buried deep, but if anything I feel like I'm probably not holding up my end for other people, I have DMs I haven't replied to... I like the idea of just plainly, kindly expressing urself to whoever about ur needs, that rules. Keeping it in my back pocket.

Feeling real things and not acting on them.... I dunno.....