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Spanish football federation threatens to sue player Jenni Hermoso over kiss ‘lies’
(www.theguardian.com)
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this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2023
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From an outside perspective this whole thing seems to be blown way out of proportion. It's a dumb mistake, apologize and move on? Why does this need to be world news, require government involvement and cost multiple people's careers?
“Why is everyone so mad about sexual assault?”
I've been touched in an inappropriate place when I didn't want to be more than once. I just said I didn't appreciate it, the person touching me apologized and that was it. I think it's absolute insanity to demand someones life to be ruined over something like that. People simply make bad judgement calls sometimes.
Let's be clear. If his life gets ruined he did it to himself. This whole thing would have been forgotten if he sincerely apologised on the first day but he is choosing to bully Jenni Hermoso instead.
Threatening to sue doesn't sound like apologizing though.
That's in response to the calls for resignation. He just wants to keep his job.
People want a lot of things they're not likely to get.
Sometimes when you fuck up, you don't get to keep your job afterwards. Quadrupling down and suing because you fucked up and don't want to take your lumps just makes you look worse in the long run.
Right, people should never defend themselves and just go with what popular opinion demands of them. Because social media is always right about such things.
Aside from the massive strawman here, you're defending a dude who sexually assaulted a player under them in public and on film.
In this case, yes, exactly what you said entirely unironically. He shouldn't defend himself for committing sexual assault because that's unacceptable no matter what, and he should have gone with the popular demands to step down for committing an unacceptable act. Because social media is right in this case.
Well, agree to disagree. I think that's way too harsh and unfair. Too black and white.
You can agree to disagree if you want, but I won't and think you're entirely you're wrong. And thankfully FIFA doesn't agree with you and have suspended him for the kiss.
Sexual assault is never ok, and I hope he gets bounced from the league. I also hope your type that justifies gross and unacceptable behavior find that they're not welcome either.
FIFA only does that because of public pressure, or else they would've done so a week ago.
So? Public pressure works to give proper repercussions to sexual assualters in old boys clubs, and it's doing what it should here.
I really don't understand why you're riding this so hard to defend a sex pest....
If giving someone a kiss makes you a sex pest then I guess you can call me one too.
Ok, youre a sex pest, N1cknamed
You appear to agree, as well
Luckily my girlfriend felt different about it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Sex pests don't generally understand the difference between consensual and nonconsensual experiences, so that perfectly tracks why you're confused about this whole situation.
I seem to be getting along fine so far. Never asked before making a move, and I've never been asked by someone making a move. Would've rather ruined the mood. That's how real life works. You feel things out, most of the time you get it right and have a fun evening, sometimes you get it wrong and make a wrong judgement call. Then you apologize and move on. I've been on both sides of the experience and it's no big deal for anyone involved. Certainly no need to ruin anyones life over it.
Nonsense like this is the reason why more and more people stay single their entire life and avoid all human interaction. Social media has an extremely twisted view of how human interaction works, and expects people to at all times be able to judge exactly how the other person feels about things. Zero nuance involved.
You don't know me, you have no idea what I'm like in real life, yet you believe you can judge my character based on just a couple of comments. That's exactly my problem with these things. Extreme opinions without context. Let me share an excellent comment I had saved from a couple months ago, from a very similar situation concerning Vince McMahon (which, by the way, has been all but forgotten in the public consciousness already, as these things go):
Unfortunately none of this conversation even matters.
"Sexual assault is bad" is too black and white for you?
Okay, so you're arguing that this guy should be let alone after he allegedly lied. He said it was the female player who told him to kiss in her lips. That's your position. Alright, everyone, he keeps his job, nothing to see here!
I'm saying I believe they can figure it out amongst themselves without massive international attention. Social media has this tendency to blow things way out of proportion despite not even knowing any of the context. I don't know what the fair resolution would be, but it seems odd to me that this mans life should be ruined over a kiss.
@N1cknamed
This was not 'a kiss', this was sexual assault.
Same thing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I mean, he's the god-damn head of the national football association. Of course, that person is unfit for that role.
"the person touching me apologized"
Important part missing from this puzzle; any acknowledgment or apology from the leader of an organization sexually harassing women he has power over.
I'm pretty certain he has already publicly apologized though. Not to mention that we have no clue about their private interactions.
Again, this doesn't seem like something that requires international attention. I believe the two of them could figure it out themselves just fine.
@N1cknamed
What a bullshit. There's no 'private interaction.' Such a comment is as unacceptable as this so-called president.
"I'm pretty certain he has already publicly apologized though."
Feel free to share evidence of the public apology, you seem to be remembering something no one else saw. All I'm seeing is him making excuses, no apology.
https://sports.yahoo.com/luis-rubiales-apology-kiss-resignation-172501379.html
Seems like he's apologizing because he was called out specifically, not that he's actually remorseful for what he did or thinks he did anything wrong.
He never apologizes tho, and therefore should be fired.
Also you weren't touched on live tv in front of millions of people? Plus it was probably not your 'boss' doing it either.
Rubiales it’s not a “dumb mistake” kind of guy. It’s an “I’m untouchable and can do whatever I want” kind of guy. This is part of a years long trend.
I mean, he is indicted for several corruption cases, accused of holding orgies paid with federation funds, and being a shady creep. Spanish sports federations and national government have protected him from prosecution, delaying several cases. Let’s see for how much longer.
He also is kind of bad as a federation president, petty, dismissive with some teams, blind to corruption and deals between teams and referees, slow to accept the popularity of women’s football, and many more bad decisions.
It’s not an innocent guy that made an honest mistake, it’s the kind of guy that treats other people like objects and have the power and influence to avoid or delay the consequences of his actions.
He should have resigned years ago, he will not do it. But now he has done something that:
So everyone that wanted him out of the federation for whatever reason (this one included) seems to be taking the chance.
As an Spaniard that doesn’t really care about football, but knows the kind of use this guy and others like him are making of their power, influence and taxpayer’s money ABOUT TIME.
Dumb mistake???? How do you mistakenly kiss someone???
Stop justifying sexual assault!
By believing the other person would be fine with it. It happens.
Doing it to people with whom you have no intimate relationship and without asking is exactly how you get sexual assault charges.
I've done that plenty of times when going out. It's been done to me plenty of times as well. That's how I got my current girlfriend. This idea that you always need to first get explicit permission before making a move is not how real life works.
Besides, he's said he asked beforehand. Who are we to judge what really happened? I have no clue.
I'll stand by my opinion that a kiss should not nearly be serious enough to ruin someones life.
@N1cknamed The world has changed. This is how it works nowadays. We’re not expected to put up with strangers slobbering on us anymore. If a man kissed me without permission, I’d punch him. Hard.
Well, I'd hate to live where you do.
Do you kiss subordinates who you have power over when you go out?
Going out together on a date is an entirely different situation. You've both already decided there's some interest in one another, and presumably with the date going well and a bit sense in reading the other person's feeling, explicit permission obviously may not be necessary. And you probably still wouldn't do a surprise sneak-attack kiss in a very public setting.
What happened here was terrible and was completely unwarranted. He used his position of power to take advantage. They had no intimate or any relationship outside of professional sports and there was literally no reason for this dude to think she wants me to kiss her.
It may seem small but since forever women have been subjected to the whims of men and violated. After enduring trauma they experience further damage by either not being believed, defense of the violator, being blamed for what happened to them amongst several others. Consent matters. This man violated her, the federation lied by putting out a false statement from her. It’s become headlines due to it happening publicly on the biggest stage in women’s sports. It’s dangerous to just label a physical violation of consent as a dumb mistake. Then you factor everything that’s taken place since and it’s why it’s reached the level that it has.
I guess violations of human rights like the one we have here happen a million times a day across the globe, although mostly not in the public sphere. Sexual harassment is not 'blown out of proportion', it has to have consequences as any crime.
I think there was a time when he could have apologized for a dumb mistake and everyone would have moved on. It is world news now because HE chose another and unfortunate path - which probably has no route back to the sunlit lands.
As I said in another reply, there was never any chance of this guy apologizing.
If anyone expected a (real) apology they don’t much about him.
Because the coach isn't apologizing and moving on. He's helping getting the player punished for rightfully complaining about it.
Because it's part of the underlying condition of a male-dominated world where men try to keep women down and in their place by treating these patronizing, chauvinist acts as "just a little mistake. Move on." No, it's time to root this garbage out for good.