Idk, I just work, go home, sleep, work again. I'm more financially stable than most people my age working for minimum wage, having been able to save by living with my parents, and that gives me motivation to get up and keep doing this every day.
But, I guess it's still not enough in the long term, for one thing.
For another, that's all that I do. I feel so easily distracted otherwise and just live to move from day off to day off, never having the focus to organize something to improve the other aspects of my life. I've not really achieved a lot of the career goals I had for myself nearly a decade ago. And that makes me feel especially like I'm failing at performing whatever male gender roles that society expects of me, which I feel in turn, will be a malus towards whatever prospects at sociability that I might have.
I'm approaching 30 and I hardly have no consistent friends or significant other. I keep reflecting on this and wonder if my social ineptitude will compound on me like my parents and result in me being either completely lonely like them or in a crappy relationship. I try making friends outside of here but, the most annoying thing about it is that I seem to often find myself the one who has to consistently initiate conversations, leading me to take hits to my rather low self-esteem. I'm just not worth bothering with as a person. The same can be said for dating in some respects. I just want to find people who I can geek out and joke about history and gaming stuff.
I'm approaching the new year, feeling disorganized and listless, discouraged by whatever past failures I've gotten out of trying to make plans to better myself that fall through.
Do you have free time for social activities in your area or are you just working too much? I find that just getting out once or twice a week to some social thing helps pretty much all of that feeling. It could be anything...trivia night or bowling league or biking club or anime lovers night or board game afternoon or painting class or fencing or just whatever thing you think might be interesting to do that you could also meet people at.
I am keenly aware that actually doing these things and committing to them can be very challenging at first but over time it gets easier. Everyone I know that is like genuinely social and happy has stuff they do and most of them started about when you did and persevered through the awkward phase and now have social circles and hobbies that get them excited.
Ome other challenge here is usually "do I have the income for it" but it sounds like you do. And if your problem is that you have the income but you're working too hard for it then is that worth it?
Late 20s is a great time to kinda take a step back and figure out some stuff you wanna do that aren't career based and then go do it. Our minds and bodies are still able to learn and grow a lot o. That phase of life so it's definitely the time
I want a better career than this. I at least want to use my degree to do something that doesn't have me work minimum wage. I have to focus on that but, I have no time.
I want to quit my job some day and pause to breath but, I'm afraid if I do, my dad, who has an insane standard for working (into his 70s and still doing custodial work) will yell at me until I'm back working full time. Really a lot of what I'm doing is to please him so he doesn't explode.
I also work different hours than most people, so not really any time to do social activities when working on a Friday/Saturday night. That really came to the front when I tried going on that one date with that girl a month ago. We both had such different work schedules.
I hear you about the schedules. I lost so many friends when I started working in kitchens. It's a sociable job, so I made some new ones. But different ones in each kitchen/bar. And it's hard to keep on touch when they need to be asleep by 10 pm to get up at 6 am and you don't finish till 10 pm and have to work Thurs/Fri/Sat night. Damn, I should try to get in touch with any of them and see how they're doing.
It's harder to make friends with the people I usually work with. Most of them are conservatives who are at least 20 years older than me.