Red_Sunshine_Over_Florida

I'm going to find a professional out there in my area who can listen to all my concerns about stuff like diagnosing/dealing with AuDHD, talking about dealing with family stuff, and just my general desire to be a better person/communicate better. I don't think I can just indefinitely keep my problems inside the way I've been doing.

Mostly because it sounds similar to a name like Colonel House (who was a KFC-style Colonel btw).

I never received formal education in the subject and I want to learn about it so that I may have a better understanding of the philosophy of our political tradition. I'd appreciate any suggestions on materials to get an introduction to the topic.

I've been trying to find more people IRL to chat with, even if online, and I actually found a person who I clicked with who seemed to share my sense of humor and references to old media. It was nice while it lasted but, I don't think he was interested in the long run. I guess I just want to share this because it gave me a moment where I started to understand what I was looking for in people who I want to make friends or date. I want to find people who are have the same nerd/geek interests and humor as me but are also a bit chill or even a bit positive. It was such a new experience for me, I guess. It feels a bit exciting. I hope I am able to find more people like that in Florida.

Two older women I work with are lifelong Republicans. One is an cat (and horse) lady, the other is a childless middle aged woman who is still trying to find a guy to date. I think he'd loathe both of them if he met them in real life.

I basically explained that one of the guys I work with is a Chud. Now he wants to call all the assholes he works with Chuds.

I don't know if it's an ADHD thing for me or some undiagnosed Autism thing but, for part of my life I used to make lists to try and prevent procrastination spirals. And the lists would get too big and I would fail them as the backlog grew. It makes me very wary of planning to this day. Has anyone else dealt with this in such a context?

The solitude in my life kinda feels a bit less bearable today after being drained at work. Who's up to chat?

Some of the ones who are against him are all like: "He's so rude, he's going to ruin our country." But, then they turn around and tell me that the country has an illegal migrant problem and that we shouldn't try to take so many migrants into the country. It's almost like they want his policies but, they just don't like that he pushes them in such crass style. It's so much of the dynamic you see with the two parties, where one is the mask-off barbarism party and the other one is the "smart" and "civil" barbarism party. No matter how many times you explain this to these people, they always find themselves back to the beginning where they were traumatized by seeing Trump be rude in 2016, and allow that to be the pass the Democrats need to enact similar policies as the "civil" barbarism party. It's maddening to try to reason with these people and see it's all been a fruitless effort.

I’ve been sitting on this story for a while and wanted to eventually share it here. [CW: References to Homophobia] This is a story about the only self- described communist I’ve met in my life so far.

A few years ago after my job I got to know a number of workers on the shift, including the old inventory man, who recently retired this year. Me, being without friends to talk about the stuff that I studied in college (history mainly), got to chatting with him about what I learned in university. Unlike most people I speak to, he got some of the references to historical figures and current events, revealing a person who took great pride in his own self taught schooling. We particularly connected when I referenced reading about the historiographers tracing developments in writing on the Caribbean back through historians such as Eric Williams, who was well known to him when he was growing up in the Caribbean during the 60s. He had an old tattered copy of Capitalism and Slavery at home that he took great pride in owning. I initially got the impression from talking about history with him that he had strong left vibes inspired by the anti colonial movements of the mid 20th century, especially when he talked about his disdain for the French under de Gaulle continuing to meddle in African affairs down to the present. However, I just assumed he would describe himself in the vein of being some sort of left-liberal, I did not expect the moment I’m going to describe to you all.

One day when we are all doing our jobs, we get into the usual sort of conversation about history and politics. I think the conversation veered towards universal health care or something, I can’t remember exactly. He then steers the conversation towards the Cuban healthcare system, and then the conversation climaxes with him basically shouting/proclaiming to me in earshot of anyone who’ll listen, “I am a Communist, and Fidel Castro is my childhood hero!” This surprised me as I tend to avoid the c word in public but he brought it up himself. It wasn't every day someone shouted at you that they're a communist. He then told me it was his dream to travel to Cuba and receive an education there when he was young but his parents made him study in America instead. We had some further conversations like this about the state of American hegemony. The point being here was I had never met a self-described communist before and never expected to given the conservative area of the country I live in.

However, it was in my conversations with him that I also discovered his religiosity and the homophobia that it fueled. This first showed up in our conversations about history, where he took great interest in the chronology of the near east during the Iron Age because of his religion. But, it was in conversing with another coworker (someone who I trust and I’m out to now), that I discovered the extent of his homophobia. She told me she noticed a tendency in him to be particularly belligerent with any young people who worked here in the past that he perceived to be queer, to the point that he had to be warned by the supervisor. It was in discovering this that I understood I could not consider him a comrade and resolved to not to get into any conversation that might draw any homophobic ire. We kept talking at times but, for the most part we spoke less because of a change in schedules. He retired a couple of months after I found all that out, and that was the last I ever saw of him.

Idk, I was a bit excited at first that I might have found a person who I could call a comrade irl but he had major religious brain worms that I didn’t want to get into.

A while ago I was kinda surprised that my attractions shifted predominantly towards men. I knew I was bi for years and was alright with that but, still was predominantly attracted to women. Then for the last couple of weeks my interest in women picked up. Now, I feel myself shifting interest to men again but, not as strongly as the last time.

I guess upon reflection, my growing romantic attraction to men is what probably drove the recent increase in my attraction to the same sex. That was a more recent development that happened in the last year when I tried browsing OLD sites again. I started looking at the men I saw as potential long term partners in a way I only thought about with women until that point.

Does anyone else deal with this too?

Edit: Sorry if the response time was a bit laggy, my shit was longer than usual today.

I've heard of Lose It and My Fitness Pal. Anyone have experience with them or other ones?

Edit: Sorry about the laggy response, my shifts have been longer lately.