this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2025
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My ideal microwave:
I have never needed to use power variation, defrost settings, popcorn button, or any of the other junk.
Innovate through simplicity. Less features means less to go wrong, and cost savings that can be put into either making it cheap or improving component quality.
Could I tempt you with:
While I feel strongly about the subject, I'm not yet ready to turn it into a masochistic kink.
I'll let you know if I do though ❤
Does it also need to connect to my wifi and won’t operate unless it can dial home?
Yes, but only on 2.4Ghz (despite that being the frequency the magnetron operates at, so it interferes with itself) and only with WEP encryption.
Also, a single fucking ding when it's done. I don't need it to beep five fucking times goddamnit I HEARD YOU
Ours screams on completion. Even when you stop/open the door, it will 'sing' the whole song....
For a dial, Ding is assumed :)
I discovered the existence of those on online forums, it literally blew my mind. Manufacturers engineering microphones in microwaves because US people can't be arsed to stay for two fucking minutes next to the oven. Fucking unbelievable.
And every commercial microwave popcorn product I've bothered to read the directions on says "DO NOT USE THE POPCORN BUTTON".
Well what's the point or the stupid thing then?
I don't know, never used it.
Wait, is that what the popcorn button does? I always thought it just was a preset for a time that would work decently for most standard brands.
Mine is definitely just a preset time estimated for what a bag of popcorn should require. It sets a timed countdown that looks and works exactly the same as if I had simply entered that time.
You want a commercial microwave, basically, except the wattage will often be higher. Try restaurant auctions for a cheap(er) one
My mother picked up what can only be a commercial microwave for her house. More than 30s and your food is on fire. The sweet spot is so incredibly small that I can't for the life of me get food that's a comfortable temperature out of it. I clearly do not have the credentials to operate a commercial microwave. Good band, though.
Most I've seen are the 1000W, 1200W+ monsters with triple digit prices - even 2nd hand.
Just need a regular home microwave (ours was £30 with the useless features), but dumber 😅
I'd modify our own existing one but the jank would not be safe nor attractive...
Is 1000w a monster? Half of my microwave food asks for 1000w
800W is very much a standard for a home microwave in the UK and what the average consumer would expect. 1000W is also popular, though.
As for the food, it doesn't "ask" for 1000W - rather it tells you the time for 1000W, and it is up to you the consumer to add or remove time based on the power of your own appliance.
Part of the reason food manufacturers like to stipulate 1000W on microwave meals is so that they can advertise "Ready in 2 mins!" on the front of the carton - that time being made shorter with higher microwave power - so it's in their marketing interests to calibrate against a higher wattage.
Cooking food on lower power for longer can sometimes give better results, as you will get a more even heating and reduce hot/cold spots.
Yeah I put almost everything on 70% these days. It really helps, and only takes 30% longer. Oh and offset the food from the center. Microwave life hacks.
Might be the area.
Our current is only 700W and rarely will you find instructions that go that low. It's old and cheap. Most things assume 800-900 and don't list anything higher.
1000W seems to be the turnover point here. Can still get a domestic at that range, but they are a little rarer. Also pricier and often part of a combi grill/convection unit.
In the US 1000W is the norm for home microwaves, and there are commonly available ones that are 1200W
https://ecocostsavings.com/microwave-wattage/
All i care about is that it's stupid. After that, 1000W and a +30s button.
My current microwave has a dial with 5deg rotation per minute. So hitting 30s often just turns it off. Was super cheap though so 🤷
Must be a proper chunky dial that actually controls the circuit then.
I like that, but would also accept 'cook by wire' where the dial sets a time digitally. Cost would go up though...
Yeah it's a mechanical switch
Honestly if the only control on the thing was the door switch and a +30s button I'd be soo happy LMAO
How nice it is to find your people hahaha.
I swear if I had more time I would Kickstarter this.
I briefly rented an apartment with a microwave that was also a toast oven. Grandet, it had a dumb, slow, digital screen to control. But it was really nice inside. There was no turn table but still heated everything evenly, and due to its size, it was much more efficient that a normal oven at baking. The door also opened forward like an oven.
That is to say, I agree with you thst I want a dumb dial, but there are some nice features out there that I wouldn't mind having.
Hold up. Most of what you described was just a toaster oven. You're saying it used microwaves but could also toast? I need to see this magic machine.
I have to assume it had the equipment of both but putting heating elements inside a microwave chamber sounds like an interesting problem.
Yup. I've never seen it before. A toast oven that is also a microwave. But instead of a dial to select the mode, you have to go through a touch menu 🤮
Pretty much agree, would probably prefer 700w myself. Get rid of the damn clock too. There are commercial grade ovens like this. The consumer ones are packed full of total crap (looking at you motorized rotational platter). I've always wondered why a couple of infrared thermometers to allow for a closed loop heat cycle hasn't been done though. I think I'd like that if it worked halfway decently even if just for soup/liquid (more homogeneous).
Turntable is fine, never had trouble with ours.
It's handy if you can place what you're heating offset from the centre. Moves around more in the unit and prevents hotspots/coldspots.
Popcorn button is useless but many people don't know how to use the power variation.