Didn't have a chance to write up a detailed post, either on a fruit or the topic I was originally thinking about. I think they're neat and they taste good.
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As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
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This has probably had a bad effect on you, but it's not permanent. If you did it yourself, then it can be undone. No part of your brain is just locked into that perception.
I'm not going to give you the usual "what actually is a cis woman?" thing. I know you've heard it, and it makes you feel dismissed. What I will say is that holding yourself to that standard is only going to keep hurting you. You're right that there's no amount of HRT that's going to make you see a woman in the mirror. That's an internal change.
I know you also don't like to be told to seek therapy, so maybe there are some therapy-adjacent things you can do to work on your self perception. If you really do have BDD, that's going to take work to resolve. It won't just go away either.
To be honest, girl, I think you've really made strides this year, and I think you're just going to keep growing. Hoping you get through this phase soon ❤️