this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2025
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12 minute duration? Wtf am I supposed to do for the other 7 minutes?
Listen to it buzz in the trashcan while your post nut clarity gives you a mental breakdown.
I think that is stat tracking your session aha. Either way it was an April Fools prank.
If I wrote porn scripts, that could definitely be part of the plot. Maybe the performers are hired for some outdoor scenes but end up getting lost in the woods and all their communication gear is either destroyed or out of batteries so they can't call for rescue. These condoms survived the inciting incident with power source and electronics intact because the story demands it. Crucially, they include low-speed mobile data networking capabilities (a key selling point and the reason for the trip away from civilization the first place) so you aren't configuring a WiFi adapter on your antenna while trying to use the physical link layer.
Long story short, they have to encode a message in the data being sent out by varying the speed or other characteristics of the unit being monitored by the unit. Maybe they've only got one so it's high-stakes, maybe they've got a whole shipping container full of them so there's a chance for a whole series. First rescue attempt, for example, might go awry when a passing vessel receives and decodes the message but runs aground when they arrive. How will they ever pass the time while waiting for someone to rescue the rescuers?
No, they can't just hook the batteries together and rig up a charger for their other gear. Yeah, I should probably stick to my day job.
So, Morse-code but fucking and using low powered cellular signals. I get it. Brilliant
Thank fuck for that