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this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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I do the same, but if someone's gender is known it's really not hard to use one of their preferred pronouns.
I don't think that's being the 'thought police' and it's certainly not something to focus on instead of hate speech, we can do both.
And figuring out their preferred pronouns isn't always easy. Can you trust the news source to have gotten it right? You end up getting stalkerish and seeing if they have made a public statement on their pronouns and you have to make sure it's current because gender can be fluid and maybe it changed since the story broke. And do you need to go revise your previous posts and comments to update the current status? Or do you go with evergreen and neutral because you definitely don't want someone digging through your history and seeing something different from whatever is current and then jumping on the cancel wagon without checking the calendar to see if it was appropriate at the time.
This isn't as simple as a lot of people want it to be. Going neutral isn't a slight. It's not misgendering. It's a way to avoid accidentally making an error even with the best of intentions.
My old roommate was trans. They went through multiple gender identities before settling on that. And every post I made mentioning them is still clean because I went with the gender neutral before they had ever made their first change.