this post was submitted on 07 May 2025
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Shitty Food Porn

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I think she's a keeper

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 94 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Damn... Wtf did you do to piss her off that she boiled the bacon while boiling the eggs?

[–] mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 38 points 3 days ago (11 children)

Energy efficiency. It's no crime to care about global warming 🧐

[–] Mongostein@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 hours ago

How does boiled bacon taste?

No no no. In this case it was a crime against the memory of that pig.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 46 points 3 days ago

The methane the pig and chicken made are worse than the gas it would take to cook them.

[–] logi@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Fry it all on the same pan.

[–] ddash@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 2 days ago

I'd assume if you care about global warming you'd also avoid eating meat. Maybe more important for beef than bacon though. Anyway, I interrupted your chewing, please continue!

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 5 points 2 days ago

I think this might be an exception...

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 30 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The amount of energy you (as a consumer) use is nominal in comparison to big corporations; especially the big corporate farms. So you might as well heat up a second pan to make the bacon, because you’re suffering unnecessarily for no gains.

But make no mistake, what I said above is in no way a negative reflection on you or your future wife.

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)
[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

You’re as bad as the chauffeur, who – directly after my wedding ceremony – said β€œYou still have 24 hours to change your mind”. πŸ™„

[–] Lupus@feddit.org 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It’s my fault. I should’ve picked a different chauffeur when the first time I called them and said I was getting married, and his response was β€œoh, a standing funeral.” πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ

[–] Lupus@feddit.org 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Oof yeah, definitely not a good start, is there a way to sound even more divorced than that?

[–] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Lemme try:

"She caught me peeing in the sink. Again."

How'd i do?

[–] Lupus@feddit.org 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Good start, but it's missing the open misogyny of a divorced boomer.

Something like "That bitch caught me peeing in the sink again."

Bonus points if you can make yourself sound divorced and incel at the same time.

Ok, how about:

"She bitched about me pissing in MY sink. Again. Real sigma shit."

[–] equivocal@lemm.ee 17 points 3 days ago

Are we just ignoring the significant amount of energy it would take to get a pot of water up to a boil?

[–] Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

In that case I agree, def. a keeper.

[–] Oneser@lemm.ee 4 points 3 days ago

I think you meant to type "in this case, it is!" but your typey sticks got a bit wayward and hit the wrong buttons. Happy to help :)

[–] LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe 10 points 3 days ago

Bacon abuse is a crime.

[–] pappabosley@lemm.ee 5 points 3 days ago

I'll take an extra fire tornado, to never have to see that again