chapotraphouse

Always talk to him like a baby. Try to be really playful, like you would with a baby. Every time you see him, show tremendous enthusiasm because ‘your buddy’ is here.

When he blurts out racist stuff just say ‘you need mommy now?’ And bring out a baby bottle that you keep refrigerated with milk in it, just for him.

When you turn to your girlfriend use your most adult voice. ‘Can we get him home?’ You then look at him with a smile, as if you never said anything at all.

Edit: it’s really important you never speak to him without the affect of a baby.