this post was submitted on 24 Jan 2024
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[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm also non-straight but I don't identify as LGBTQ (I literally had to look up the correct way to type that)

If you identify as non-straight then you're identifying as LGBTQ. Don't get hung up on the specific letters in the acronym, that sort of changes from year to year. You can pretty much sum it up to literally mean anything that isn't straight which is what you said you are.

[–] Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee -2 points 9 months ago (2 children)

If you identify as non-straight then you’re identifying as LGBTQ.

No I don't. That's the point; if this is asked on a questionaire my answer will be no. It's irrelevant if other people want to label me like that - I don't.

[–] stoly@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

It’s irrelevant if other people want to label me like that

Correct. You get to label yourself and no person on Earth has a right to comment on that. You're choosing not to and it's unclear why or to what end.

[–] Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee 0 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

..it’s unclear why or to what end.

The abbreviation in question has negative cannotations in my mind and thus I don't want to be accociated with it. I prefer the term sexual minority if I absolutely need to be put into a category.

[–] stoly@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

has negative cannotations in my mind

I feel like you may have just demonstrated the importance of the study being reported here. The people responding affirmatively do not carry that burden.

As a piece of advice: this is a "you" thing. Whatever you need to do to get there, learn to be ok with yourself and stop worrying about what others think of you.

[–] Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

My point is that people answer these kind of questionaires differently. Just like I may not check a box others might think I should have, some other person checks a box others might think they shouldn't have. Just because one thinks of themselves as native american for example doesn't mean others do. That nearly 30% LGBTQ rate indicates, to me atleast, that something like this is going on here aswell.

I don't consider myself to be especially worried about what other people think of me. I don't know what makes you feel like I do.

[–] stoly@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I don’t consider myself to be especially worried about what other people think of me. I don’t know what makes you feel like I do.

It's specifically that you seem to self-select based on possible definitions others might have on an identity that keeps you from taking on one that you might otherwise adopt.

[–] Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Ah I see. Well I guess you kind of have a point there. Maybe in this case it's not so much about being ok with myself and more about not wanting other people to think I'm something I'm not or hold beliefs that I don't.

[–] stoly@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I feel like we just had an internet bro hug. Yay.

I know this stuff is confusing. I probably have some more experience with it than you based on my age. It was never easy and frankly was traumatic through my life. In the end, I started to see the people who would put me down as nothing more than insecure monkeys flinging their poo. Sadly, most people take their humanity for granted and don't try to elevate themselves--rather, they just let the ape part through more than necessary. My point? Fuck 'em, there's always going to be some idiot trying to ruin your day or your life because of their own personal issues. At some point, I feel like you have to stop caring or you will continue to feel hurt.

If I could have understood all of that when I was like 10, a whole lot of pain in my life would have been avoided. I had a bad combination of personality and sexuality in that I genuinely trusted the adults around me, believed that they were intelligent and educated, and that they acted in good faith always. Because of that posture, I listened to those who would discriminate against me. It took me decades to realize that I kept putting faith in people who never deserved it, especially my own family.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

You labeled yourself non-straight. That falls under LGBTQ.

Edit: I'm not trying to force you to use the acronym, I'm just saying "non-straight" most definitely falls under it.