this post was submitted on 21 Feb 2024
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I think I'd apply for the position of guy who's super interested in something that's only interesting cause it's gsmeplay relevant. I'd stand by a river staring at it day and night and when the protagonist talks to me I'd say "I'd bet I could use a boat to cross this river."

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[–] Sickos@hexbear.net 6 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Absolute garbage generic side quest/fetch quest giver. Something totally moronic.

Oh you're the HERO? Could you help me collect 5 APPLES?

But I wouldn't actually accept the apples they already have in their inventory. They'd have to go get 5 APPLES. From trees. And there'd only be 4 apples on trees near me. And I'd only reward them with half the market price of 5 APPLES.

[–] Sickos@hexbear.net 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

And this would be a more western RPG than JRPG one but the town guard who can inexplicably smoke you in combat or stop you because I trigger an unskippable dialogue when you do something bad, but is also woefully unprepared when plot happens and dies unceremoniously.

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 4 points 9 months ago

To be fair, enemies have weapons of +10 vs NPCs; you'd think it was dumb but given there's more NPCs in the world than there are PCs it's actually money well spent, especially as they still manage to kill players a fair number of times.

[–] Sickos@hexbear.net 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

OOH Ooh or "crazy conspiracy hobo" that is shunned by the townspeople because actually I'm the only plot-irrelevant character who actually sees through The Veil and gives the hero some minor skill boost.

[–] Sickos@hexbear.net 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I would live in a box in the alley in the bad part of town but my spirit world house would be an impenetrable sanctuary where the player can use my bed to rest and have a chest for storage.

[–] Sickos@hexbear.net 2 points 9 months ago

Or maybe a shitty escort quest giver.