askchapo

pokemon npc that just starts yappin a factoid off a snapple cap after making eye contact with a stranger before engaging in sanctioned cockfighting

Absolutely not any of these idiots watching weeb quidditch

The main antagonist that everyone secretly likes more than the main characters.

What? Villains aren't playable so it's technically an NPC

Guy who just says ". . ." and blocks your way until you fulfill some arbitrary plot threshold

Since I'm in my thirties, and therefore expendable in a JRPG, I'd like to be the NPC who has an optional quest where main characters play matchmaker. Give me the safest happily ever after please.

i'd be the puff puff girl from dragon quest

i'll be taking no further questions at this time.

Y'shtola Rhul. Plot armor so thick, you'd need an anti-tank rifle to pierce it.

I'd be the rando that keeps track of the player's records despite having no means of obtaining that information. "Wow hero you've taken 53,211 steps so far and have collected 76/80 recipes!"

I would say "guy who says 'welcome to [town name]'" but I already hate seeing cars with Florida and New Jersey plates normally

I'm that weird collector always asking for your stuff and giving nothing back, but if you give me one of all 297 unique item types I forge them all into the Ultimate Weapon for your jack-of-all-trades party member. Of course I don't help you keep track of what items you gave me, how did you know?

One of those people in dragon quest games that are just chilling in the bottom of a well

Glaring at a cliff face

"I could climb this cliff with a LADDER"

comtimies staring at cliff face

I am going to be a youngster who's super enthusiastic about an article of clothing. My hat, my sparkly dress, my shorts, you name it. Then after my dialogue I do a spin and little stars shoot around my character sprite.

Somsnosa hylics

I'd be tutorial guy only I'd reference controls for a different system. Press "P" to open the party window.

Press triangle to exit

Snorlax.

Seriously, fuck this work shit I just want to nap.

Guy at the cssino who tells the protagonist which minigames are rigged in their favor

That one generic henchman who's lowkey super relateable. After you beat me to get the key to the next floor I'd say "It's a living" before stepping exactly one square to the left. Any time you talk to me afterwards I say something about being on break or taking this up with the union.

cave hermit who gives you an infinite-use health potion, but it's a basic lv1 potion way later than those are useful anymore

Guy who runs some half-baked minigame that starts out kind of interesting but by the end you stop caring. Something like Pocket Circuit from Yakuza 0.

some survivalist out in the woods huntin fishin and sleeping under the stars. maybe i sell some rare mushrooms i found.

i'm not like that at all irl but for another life? sounds sick.

edit: or maybe the shrimp guy from hawaii in persona 5(r)

Final boss of the minigame that everyone hates. You need to beat me to get the ultimate weapon for the best physical damage dealer in your party (the guy who throws playing cards as his normal attack) and the whole quest takes like twenty hours.

Any NPC from the Castlevania 2 (the American release).

Just a horde of nonsense being screamed at you every time you so much as look in my direction.

What I never understood about the NPC thing is that it's always assumed that NPCs are not like other main characters in the story. But it's just any character you can't play right? Even characters who have like hours and hours of screentime showcasing and developing a complex and nuanced personage.