this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2024
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Long ago when I first became homeless, on the mean streets of Santa Monica, California, I was sitting next to an older Black woman as she was giving someone this bit of advice: never say I’m sorry; say “I apologize.” For some reason that’s stuck with me.
Wow, I really like that. I’m sorry is such a copout apology, you’re just making a passive statement that you feel bad. I apologize has real weight, it’s a statement of action; yet I’m sorry is vastly more common and the primary way USians trains kids to apologize. “Say you’re sorry to Timmy”
Also I’m high, so I’m probably just thinking into the statement too much
I’ve always understood it as—saying you’re sorry is a statement of shame/regret/idk; saying I apologize is more an emotionally neutral statement of like, recognizing that you acted transgressively/unfairly/whatever. E.g. I’m not sorry that I slapped you in the face because you called my girlfriend a whore, but I apologize because I understand now that it was an inappropriate way to react. Idk.