this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2024
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My theory is that a lot if not most people are born with the propensity to be bisexual (like at least a Kinsey 1), but their environment growing up makes most of them default to being straight. Like a developing child or teen is going to understand that straight is the norm and just subconsciously dismiss any consideration of being bi. Once they've fully developed without considering or exploring, that propensity fades away.
But since being LGBT is not only normal and common but kind of celebrated in Gen Z, a lot more kids and teens now are likely to really consider it and end up activating that propensity. I expect Gen Alpha numbers to be even higher.
To put it a little more simply:
At one point there was a debate of "nature vs nurture". I think nature for most is bi, but nurture (their entire environment, not just parents) molds most into being straight.
tbf I am quite biased considering I'm bi myself, so I can't really understand why people wouldn't like both. But the numbers are pointing to it.
I label myself as straight, but I agree with that theory.
Sexuality being a scale, I believe very few people are 100% straight or gay. That means that identifying as bi is for many a matter of societal context and expectations shaping one's perception. Say you on occasion find someone whose gender is not your preferred one attractive: you could either dismiss it as "I'm just noticing they're attractive, nothing more", or consider you might be somewhat bi.
What I find most amusing (and in a way very sad too) are those bigots that claim homosexuality or bisexuality to be a choice because, as they say, "everyone finds people of the same sex attractive, but you have to resist the temptation". Like, dude, you're super gay, just accept and enjoy it.
I think some of this is also why some homophobes consider being gay to be a choice, cause they're bi and it kinda is for bi people
Though the heart does want what it wants. Im first come first serve for whoever catches my attention
This was me as a teenager. I didn't get why people wouldn't just choose to be straight - I made that choice every day that I repressed my attraction towards men!
But now it's like, "Wait holy shit there are people who are categorically not attracted to an entire sex?". That's way more wild to me than the idea that people would be attracted to people of the same sex. Imagine seeing a hot guy/gal (tastes accounted for) and just not being into that. Damn.
In my soc101 years ago our lesson on sexuality featured a number of studies showing that people act bisexual far more than they identity, for both straight and gay people. People will identity as straight on the survey, but than admit to multiple same sex partners lol.
Captain Jack Harkness (doctor who, multiple seasons starting with season 2-3 or so of the 2008 reboot) is the media embodiment of this hypothesis.
They spell out very clearly that the time he comes from, they don’t have hang ups over gender and sex, they just do whatever’s good. So he’s very very openly bisexual and a bit of a slut with lax boundaries, because why not? Do what’s good. But he’s still masculine and appealing and a great character all around.
He's my role model.
That's kinda why it took me so long to figure out I'm bi. Growing up I was told homosexuality was rare and bisexuality was not mentioned, I figured since I was a boy and I liked girls that I was straight and didn't really examine it further for years. When I found out about bisexuality later I was jealous because it's the best of both worlds, which in hindsight should have been a clue but I got there eventually
It was basically the same for me. Very late bi-bloomer due to adolescence in the incredibly homophobic 1990s. As you say, the word bisexuality was just not said in popular culture. I liked girls, therefore I was straight, right?
But the signs were there. How many 12-year-old boys have "Rocky Horror Picture Show" as their favourite movie? I wasn't obsessing over Brad because I thought he was hot, I just admired him for becoming adventurous. I didn't do everything I could to get out of gym classes for high school because I was afraid of going into a panic in a locker room full of cute boys not wearing much, I was just not interested in sports.
I was very good at rationalizations.
Well, better late than never! Covid taught me to not put things off. I'm making up for lost time now. Not in a slutty way, but definitely in a more adventurous way.