this post was submitted on 21 Mar 2024
177 points (100.0% liked)

chat

8171 readers
458 users here now

Chat is a text only community for casual conversation, please keep shitposting to the absolute minimum. This is intended to be a separate space from c/chapotraphouse or the daily megathread. Chat does this by being a long-form community where topics will remain from day to day unlike the megathread, and it is distinct from c/chapotraphouse in that we ask you to engage in this community in a genuine way. Please keep shitposting, bits, and irony to a minimum.

As with all communities posts need to abide by the code of conduct, additionally moderators will remove any posts or comments deemed to be inappropriate.

Thank you and happy chatting!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Since I was a kid, I failed so hard at being a guy. I've always been hopeless at athletics. My body type has always been pretty meek (let me not doxx myself and say more). I hate any sort of competitive environment. I can't hold my liquor for shit. I have a very high pitched voice and an expressive way of talking. Friends have described my voice as a "gay twang". My mum probably assumed that I was gay from day one, as I got a lot of "it's OK to be gay" from her growing up. Sadly I had too much soy or not enough soy, because I grew up attracted to women.

Maybe you old comrades remember, but schools in the 90s were full of homophobia. "That's so gay" criticised any action that deviated from some masculine ideal. I got this multiple times a day, and I learned to stifle my personality to avoid the rebuke of my male non-friends. I'm not even complaining, there's so so many that had it way worse than I did.

Nowadays it's great being a flamboyant straight dude. I can be as sweet, as empathetic, and as expressive as I want. I have cute and colourful clothing. I get really ecstatic around animals. I cry. People like me for being fun and engaged with stuff. Nowadays if some guy colleague says that's "gay" it's like lea-huh "are you alright mate??"

I did go some LGBT events and actions in the past, but not a lot. If I do anything positive, it's to enforce no homophobic language with my students, which guys has gotten a lot easier in the past 20 years. Really, the kids nowadays are much better than we were. OK, I have hooked up with a few dudes here and there, but it feels like stolen valour to call myself bi.

So thanks a whole lot to all the queer people who have made my life much easier, when I've done so little.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 36 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Me reading this post: I dunno you sound kinda a lot like me when I was like "oh yes I've touched many a dick but I'm totally straight I promise."

Me at the end of the post: Oh and there it is. If you hooked up with a couple of dudes and it was consenting and you're like "yeah I'd do that again" then you're queer enough. Welcome to it. Literally every queer person feels imposter syndrome. This is just part of the experience. Some worse than others. You don't have to be actively touching multiple types of genitals at the same time to be queer. You don't have to be attracted to everyone to be queer. There are lots of genders out there besides "men" and "women" too, if you've ever met someone who doesn't go by she or he and is confusingly hot anyway, yep, that's queer too. That's mostly my experience anyway.

Anyway I for one give you permission to call yourself bi or queer or whatever label you want to use. You're not gonna hurt anyone by saying you're bi. You can use straight too if you want I don't want to take that away from you. I just want to let you know what the way you're talking now sounds like you're a baby queer maybe thinking about starting that journey. Be true to yourself you deserve it.

[–] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 35 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

imposter syndrome

Fair enough.

You don't have to be actively touching multiple types of genitals

Wow, what's the point then kitty-birthday-sad

But for real, good effort post and thank you. I wonder if I just attached my identity too hard to straight people in my lib phase. But your words are food for though.

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 17 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Now if you want to be queer and polyam then you can touch multiple types of genitals at the same time. 10/10 highly recommend. One thing at a time though sicko-queer

[–] frauddogg@lemmygrad.ml 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It's about the journey, not the destination.

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 11 points 7 months ago

It's about how many butts you touch along the way

[–] MonsiuerPatEBrown@reddthat.com 12 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

the point is that you know who you are, and that you love yourself for it. and you have a community that loves and supports you.

a high body count is not proof of anything.