That's a perfectly normal thing to feel. I had similar thoughts and concerns around that time in your transition. In fact, it was about a year when I was able to finally shake the last bit of it off. Let's be honest, transitioning is a terrifying thing. You're changing your entire body, you're (potentially) changing your entire social self, you're subjecting yourself to external criticism with strangers, and after a certain point, some of it you can't go back on. But just remember, you have come as far as you have for a reason. Cis folks don't have the feelings that you're having. Cis folks don't start transitioning. Cis folks wouldn't subject themselves to the things we do. Just remember why you started this path and remind yourself of how you felt when you first took your estrogen.

Same. I feel like I’ve never felt euphoria or dysphoria but I can’t tell if it’s because I’m just that good at ignoring shit. But also I really enjoy playing as a girl, presenting as femme in a way that is girl-adjacent in digital ways, etc. but real life make up just makes me sad and different pronouns make me feel awkward, even though if I interrogate myself I feel like it’s just because they’re different, and I don’t really care that much either way.

Is it cis for calling myself trans to be more affirming than these things that are supposed to be? Is that weird?

Edit: I feel like if I took HRT there’s a high chance it would be extremely affirming but clinics don’t let you do something as significant as that as a TEST