this post was submitted on 08 Apr 2024
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A trolley is heading towards 4 people. If you pull the switch, it will be diverted towards 1 person. Also, if you slip the switch by pulling it after the front wheels have passed but before back wheels do, it will probably come to a complete halt before hitting anyone, but there is a 20% chance that you'll fuck up and kill all 5 people. There are exits to the east, north, west, and south.
What will you do? _
Look North
To the north, you see a quaint downtown district that shows signs of recent renovation, and even more recent sudden collapse. A gastro-brewpub advertises trivia on Tuesdays. There are two bearded men sitting at an outdoor table with their beers, watching in rapt horror as the trolley speeds towards the people bound to the tracks.
You hear an emergency whistle from the trolley.
What do you do? _
Look south
Immediately to your south are the trolley tracks. On your left, the tracks diverge, leading towards the desperate, pleading faces of the track-bound.
On the other side of the tracks is an old grain silo preserved by a historical society. It looks freshly painted in white. In the distance, you see a block of slot houses all looking the same.
A woman in designer yoga pants is walking a panicked-looking husky.
The emergency alarm of the trolley is blaring.
What do you do? _
Examine grain house
On the side of the grain house is the words "OLDE MILL" in four-meter-high block letters. The original silo dates back to the late 1880s when the town was originally founded, before it was absorbed into the greater city metro. There's a memorial plaque at the base, but you can't read it because it's on the other side of the tracks, and also because the speeding tram is in the way.
You expect that they may add a new memorial plaque after today.
The emergency alarms are blaring. There are screams ahead on the track.
Go to grain silo
Get ye flask.
You can't get ye flask.
Take Husky i
Save game
Saved to slot 1. Name this save?
Kant-stop-me-now-2024-4-8.trolly
Saved as Kant-stop-me-now-2024-4-8.trolley.
To the north, you see a quaint downtown district that shows signs of recent renovation, and even more recent sudden collapse. A gastro-brewpub advertises trivia on Tuesdays. There are two bearded men sitting at an outdoor table with their beers, watching in rapt horror as the trolley speeds towards the people bound to the tracks.
You hear an emergency whistle from the trolley.
What do you do? _
Throw a wrench at the wheel. I don't think my aim is good today though, but it got quite the speed
Roll initiative
/etc/passwd
Check if it is Tuesday.
Heh, that's the name of my local news channel.
Get ye flask
You can't get ye flask.
GO DENNIS
I would say an 80% chance of killing anyone is preferable to a 100% chance.
This. On average it's the same number of deaths, but there's also the 80% chance to avoid the guilt of killing anyone. The guilt of killing 5 people is presumably not 5 times worse than the guilt of killing 1 person.
Look at the wheels to check for bogies. A train or tram without bogies will come to a stop. One with bogies will multi-track drift until the tracks get too far apart.
The tram is a low-floor streetcar and you cannot see the wheels from where you are. You identify it as a Flexity from some time after 2021.
You hear an emergency alarm from the Flexity streetcar.
What do you do? _
~~Look north~~
Edit, because north and south have already been done
Look West
To the west you see a Flexity streetcar coming down the tracks. It will pass by on your left side in a few seconds. The driver is a middle-aged black woman who, under other circumstances, might remind you of a television chef; at the moment, she looks dour and resigned, like a television chef whose frittata burned.
At the end of the street, there is a grand opening sign for a new fast-casual dim sum restaurant named Dim Sum Kitsch. The sign advertises $5 soup dumplings. There is a faint smell of frying oil coming from that direction.
The emergency alarm is blaring.
Walk west
You walk west to the end of the street. There is a fast-casual dim sum restaurant here, which smells lovely. On the other side of the intersection is a flower shop, but it appears to be closed today. Across the street are trolley tracks, and past that is a dog park. You can go north, south, east, west, or into the restaurant.
The sound of the tram is behind you now.
What do you do? _
Eat some dim sum.
You enter the restaurant and, without even looking at the menu, begin ordering at the counter. The cashier, who you imagine is the owner's daughter, is baffled by your perfect Cantonese pronunciation. She responds in English with the price and tells you it will be 12-15 minutes.
Fifteen minutes later, you are sitting at a table holding chopsticks and staring down three steamer baskets of dumplings. The street outside is clogged with ambulances, police, and screaming mourners, but that just means you have the restaurant all to yourself. The owner's daughter replaces your teapot with a fresh pot of oolong.
GAME OVER
DUMPLING ENDING (2/?)
Final score 160/150
Enter restaurant
You enter the restaurant and, without even looking at the menu, begin ordering at the counter. The cashier, who you imagine is the owner's daughter, is baffled by your perfect Cantonese pronunciation. She responds in English with the price and tells you it will be 12-15 minutes.
Fifteen minutes later, you are sitting at a table holding chopsticks and staring down three steamer baskets of dumplings. The street outside is clogged with ambulances, police, and screaming mourners, but that just means you have the restaurant all to yourself. The owner's daughter replaces your teapot with a fresh pot of oolong.
GAME OVER
DUMPLING ENDING (2/?)
Final score 160/150
You just gotta switch between one bogies' wheels
Xyzzy
I was not expecting to see this reference today. What do I do if the trolley is conducted by an angry little dwarf with a nasty knife?
Pick it up after he throws it and throw it back!
Dig down one level
You are eaten by a grue
Inspect the switch
You see a hand-operated railroad switch consisting of a lever, a brightly painted switch signal, and a switch stand. It is connected to a pull rod on the tracks. There is also a remotely controlled switch machine nearby; it appears this manual switch was left in for redundancy. A black and white sign nearby says DO NOT TOUCH.
The train is close enough that you could reach out and touch it, but that would be dangerous.
What do you do? _
Touch the train
You reach out totl touch the train. The metal siding of the train is cold and smooth, and the bright, saturated reds and blues painted along it remind you of a cartoon. There is an advertisement for a local law firm speeding past you too quickly to read.
A fifth of a second later, your ring fingertip is caught on the edge of a metal panel and sheared off.
Your finger is bleeding. What do you do? _
Panik
You scream, waving your hands over your head in a frantic dance. You fling blood droplets everywhere.
What do you do? _
Kill all 5 people.
You activate your dark heart, moving so fast that you perceive the train coming to a crawl, then a stop. The sky itself looks dark, the physics of relativity cracking under the strain of your newfound power. Gliding on ink-black wings erupting from each limb, you approach, meet the gaze, then execute each of the track-bound mortals, only processing what your body is doing after you pull your claw out of the chest of your fifth and final victim. By the time the train arrives -- seconds later by the timelines of the weak -- you have already left this town for gorier pastures.
GAME OVER DEMON ENDING (1/?) Final score: 14/150
Kill jester