this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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Gods I'm the same way, even though I've come out to some friends, I'm deathly afraid to change my presentation until I can somehow 'prove' myself. In my mind, that way is to have a 'presentable' voice and hide my facial hair shadow (or be rid of it completely), and until those things happen I'll be constantly thinking about it.
Luckily I don't externalize these feelings and I'm incredibly jealous of the trans people who can socially present the way they want to without fear of judgement, but we're always harshest on ourselves right?
This is it exactly for me. I always feel like I need to earn a change. Like, I'll change when I'm skinnier, when I have more money, when I have better clothes, or whatever