this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2024
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Title mostly.

I'm doing fine right now, had an argument with my brother but overall I got my path forward ironed out, but I can't shake the feeling that all of what I do is just some pathological need to stumble forward into what I'm supposed to do but rather than actually being a meaningful calling or direction.

Maybe I'm just depressed.

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[–] FeelThePower@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

that's how I started out, going to community college because my parents had forced me to. but I didn't have the drive because I don't really have any direction or goals in life, so I dropped out and they kicked me out. that was years ago, these days I have a job where I barely work part time and have flatmates to split the bills with to make this lifestyle work. I don't consider myself an enemy of the world but I definitely feel tired of participating in it when the things I love won't support me in it, I don't want some normal life with a 9-5. I don't plan to ever get married or have a family when I'm older, I'm just kind of riding shit out and hoping for the best.

[–] The_Jewish_Cuban@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, I'm fundamentally unsettled greatly by death though so riding it out feels like crap to me.

Like I have a clock to find meaning and I better hope I do before it runs out.

[–] FeelThePower@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I see. wishing you luck then, comrade.