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Got told today someone made an HR complaint about me for being on my phone too often and slamming down objects loudly when upset (hexbear.net)

submitted 4 months ago by FourteenEyes@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

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I'm 99.9% sure it's a specific person who's doing it just to be petty and I am so fucking irritated that someone would narc on me to HR for being on my phone during work just because I didn't take kindly to them talking down to me like a dog when going over paperwork mistakes with me a few weeks back

I talked discreetly with someone I can trust about it and they were pretty shocked that I said they had reported they felt "unsafe," when multiple people who know me describe me as a teddy bear. It was pretty gut-wrenching to think someone feels unsafe around me because of misunderstanding me because I've been through that before, but the more I think about it the more I feel like someone is trying to weaponize the HR process against me because they don't like me.

Just another reason for me to get the fuck out of this shit job

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[–] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I'm going to over a possible counter view, with the caveat that I don't know your specific situation.

I'm not a big guy, in fact, I don't see myself as a guy at all. Certainly I don't think of myself as intimidating in any way. And yet, I've come to learn over the years that when I get upset/angry, people absolutely do find it threatening. It's a hard thing to understand because it doesn't match my self image at all, and it's not something I can control. I feel like, "Who could possibly be intimidated by me?? I'm just a little nonbinary entity!" But for whatever reason, they do, and I'm in the process of learning how to adjust my expectations accordingly.

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago

I'm actually pretty big, six feet tall with a big booming voice. It's not out of the question that somebody who doesn't know me could be intimidated by me. But I guarantee you the person I'm thinking of isn't actually scared or feeling unsafe. Uncomfortable, maybe, since I can be moody, but we've worked together for years and they know I'm also a big fucking pussy who wouldn't hurt a fly and in fact goes out of his way to rescue bugs from other people before they can smash them. I plucked a live bee off a coworker so I could place it on the flowers outside once.

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Those people should drink a big glass of shut the fuck up juice, we are allowed to feel upset. Clearly they are :shrug-outta-hecks: and allowed to threaten your job to boot.

[–] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Nobody has threatened my job. It's very kind of you to say, but I'd rather have a realistic understanding of how others perceive me, even if I don't necessarily agree with it

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I was talking about OP, and someone going to hr. Sorry if I wasn't very clear, I was upset (and damn it you won't tell me not to be).

Its just a very frustrating situation, as I know you know.

[–] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 2 points 4 months ago

No worries, comrade