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Not really incel in that I didn't blame or resent women or anything but I was pretty low self-esteem (this years and years ago). Got my first job, started exercising, eating better, and literally within like 6 months of committing to just focusing on my own self-improvement and being comfortable with my own independence I met my future wife lol. That self-confidence may have led me to saying yes to invitations I otherwise either never would've received in the first place or never would've accepted.
So a combination of a) Being comfortable with yourself, by yourself, and not actively looking but rather letting things organically happen naturally, b) active self-improvement, and c) putting yourself out there a bit by way of hobbies and work, etc.
It really is amazing how quickly things turn around when you just focus on being a better human. Working on oneself is a great way to feel better all around. Then it usually follows that people will start being attractive. Someone who enjoys life and is fun to be around is a lot more attractive then someone who doesn't see the point in doing anything and resents everyone.
Being comfortable with myself led to nothing in my life. I'm still a virgin in my 30s.
Are you really though? Because you don't sound it from what you've written
I am, I don't wanna change, I won't wanna "improve" or being nicer just to be more "appetizeble", faking myself into a "nice guy that is social with everyone and sees positives in everything, tries to not fight or disagree and works very hard for a better society and generic happy couple life" disgust me.