this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2023
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[–] Lexam@lemmy.ca 80 points 1 year ago (12 children)

I would love to create a community on here for men's mental health and (actual) issues, but I'm afraid it would get invaded by the toxic masculinity crap.

[–] plumbercraic@lemmy.sdf.org 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Isn't this exactly part of the problem? Men have been gaslit into "being a man" on one side, while also being taught to fear "toxic masculinity" if they try to discuss their problems in group/digital settings. It seems no matter how such a community behaves there will always people that push both of these narratives. But they're not part of the solution, so I'm not sure I'm gonna take them seriously.

[–] Lexam@lemmy.ca 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Guys being gas lit into "Being man" is the toxic masculinity I am talking about.

[–] NotYourSocialWorker@feddit.nu 13 points 1 year ago

"I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad...", what actually does people think toxic masculinity is? The one you're replying to seems to have been tricked into believing that feminists think that all masculine traits are bad. They are actually listening to the enemy of their own self best interests.

I think there might be some overlap causing confusion. Being protective and problem solving are not inherently bad, but combine it with stuff like dominating, controling and not listening to others, and it can be very harmful. So a person might believe that they are just being protective but since they didn't listen to the other person their actions turns to controling instead.

[–] quicksand@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

I finally started to address my mental health issues and would love a community like that fwiw

[–] tbblake@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Hi there! Looks like you linked to a Lemmy community using a URL instead of its name, which doesn't work well for people on different instances. Try fixing it like this: !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world

[–] masquenox@lemmy.ml 14 points 1 year ago

It's is a good idea... but it will get hijacked by right-wing grifters. That's how the whole "incel" thing got started.

Yeah - I haven’t checked Reddit again but there was

Menslib, which was focused on Men related issues and discussing them from an empathetic standpoint. I’d say it were critical social discussion with a clear emphasis on men.

And there was bropill, which was less about longer discussions and more about sharing in general.

I dunno if they are still active but if you start something I’d love to join that community. So maybe write me a DM if you do? :)

[–] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It would require very strict moderation but it's feasible...

[–] masquenox@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago (4 children)

It doesn't necessarily require strict moderation... but the mods will have to follow the Bartender's Rule.

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[–] berrodeguarana@lemmy.eco.br 5 points 1 year ago

There was one in reddit that worked well IMO: menslib

[–] PeskyAce@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

There's a sub-reddit called Daddit. It was a great support group for Dads on reddit, either struggling or wanted to share their love for their kids. It's very doable, you just need to set an example early on for what it needs to be.

[–] Lamy@lemmy.fmhy.ml 4 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Why not mental health for all?

[–] Lexam@lemmy.ca 16 points 1 year ago

Everyone deserves mental health. And everyone deserves a safe space to discuss their feelings and emotions with others in a similar situation. And I don't want a space strictly for men. A LOT of men need to hear women's perspectives and experiences. And process what was shared and why it is important. I don't want men to learn how to be better men. I want men to learn how to to be happier, and better people.

[–] Nataratata@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

How can you even dare do suggest such an evil thing? Everybody knows men and women are completely different creatures. There's no way they would be able to talk about mental health together! /s

[–] nothendev@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] Nataratata@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thanks for the suggestion, I thought it was obvious

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[–] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

There's a benefit to having communities for all and communities focused on the different groups, may it be specific genders, ethnic groups, generations, socio economic backgrounds and so on... The support people need might be similar in some cases, it can also be very specific to who they are in other situations...

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[–] SQL_InjectMe@partizle.com 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Because a lot of women perpetuate societal standards of toxic masculinity and make men feel unwelcome

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[–] Phoenixbouncing@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I'd totally be down for that kind of community.

DM me if you set it up too.

[–] d4rknusw1ld@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Toxic masculinity is just severe insecurity and blatant ignorance with a sprinkle of lack of education. Modern day caveman only good for moving logs and building houses. They now think they deserve a place where something educated needs to be discussed and instead of understanding or trying to understand they just spout their bullshit.

[–] maxcorbetti@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago

there was r/menslib on reddit. Maybe there will be some movement here

[–] 001100010010@lemmy.dbzer0.com 31 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Someone: "My gender transition is almost complete."

Society: "No, not like that!"

[–] snipgan@kbin.social 27 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] robocall@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Best I can do is a slap on the back

[–] Roojuicer2@reddthat.com 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And a “she’ll be right”

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[–] goa_mpu@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

virtual hug

It WILL get better! You are doing your best! I proud of you for expressing your feelings!

[–] veloxization@yiffit.net 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Swift as the coursing river?

[–] casino@feddit.nu 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

With the force of a great typhoon?

[–] fuzzybee@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

With all the strength of a raging fire

[–] drbluefall@toast.ooo 8 points 1 year ago

Mysterious as the dark side of...

THE MOOOOOOOOOOON...?

[–] SeeMinusMinus@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (8 children)

I became a man are you going to save me?

[–] cerberus@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

Too much effort

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] Thteven@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

What's in it for me?

[–] hoborg@lemmy.fmhy.ml 4 points 1 year ago

Now man up, up, up until you are out of the water.

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[–] TheControlled@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This is a true story: My doctor told me this while I was lying in a hospital bed, in the ICU, after trying to kill myself by ODing on pills and alcohol, straps around my wrists and ankles. This was at an extremely nice hospital in Silicon Valley, California.

I was loaded on antipsychotics and a little loopy but I remember telling him that it was sexist bullshit and unhelpful, which made the nurse chuckle.

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[–] another_lemming@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

be me

a man

not using that title to abuse minors and women

having a life worth living

observing manosphere

being depressed so many men being sad they aren't alphamegachads, insisting to become ones

write something supportive

leave them to go their own way

[–] TheBoarOrTheSpear@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I will say, from my grandfather to my father to me, it feels mental health in men has shifted. my dad told me what his dad did (like “the crust will put hair on your chest”) but it feels society has shifted on the subject and I hope our education system still reflects that!

Yay to less drowning alone! Lol

[–] patomaloqueiro@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 year ago

Also Society: wHy MeN cOmMiT mOrE sUiCiDe

[–] onichama@feddit.de 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I wish I could help you :(

Sincerely, an nb

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[–] Foresight@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (15 children)

It's almost like both sides are stupid and wrong and just wants to shout at each other without giving any solutions. Both sides just want to be right while society suffers because both sides won't just shut the actual fuck up. Sick of feminist ideology, sick of aggressive males. Why won't you all just shut the fuck up with your bullshit. Especially fuck your egos with your identity politics shite whether your a white nationalist tard or a blue haired woke tard.

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[–] Ascend910@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In my opinion "be a man" means not afraid to talk to someone about your problems

[–] fushuan@lemm.ee 15 points 1 year ago

Yeah but that's not how the people this meme criticises use it.

[–] Razzmadazz@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

BE A MAN We must be swift as a coursing river BE A MAN With all the force of a great typhoon BE A MAN With all the strength of a raging fire Mysterious as the dark side of the moon

[–] Ddhuud@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Man up!

Ie. bury whatever emotion you're feeling and be more aggressive.

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