shitty effortpost incoming (hopefully it's readable, NO i will not capitalize :

this is something i've been kicking around in my head after hearing rumors about kratom or other mu-agonists and their effects on hormones from the usual reddit broscientists. i did a little digging in an effort to explain some shit in my past and maybe others have had similar experiences and want to understand their former or current addictions:

i have found a one paper proposing chronic opioid use can lower testosterone levels. this is something i had heard rumors of before 2020 and it answers some nagging questions i've had

when i was much younger i had a short, intense addiction with heroin and other potent opioids. unlike my other junkie friends i was a unique case. i didn't like to nod and didn't seem to get the same buzz they did. instead i was uplifted, energized, and over time starting chasing what i now know as gender euphoria instead of the actual drug effects. i had a vague connection that "opioids = girl" but thought it was all in my head just as i thought being trans was back then

this might also explain why i have some lasting features of someone that did a partial hormonal transition. tender sensitive breasts/nipples, some "man boobs" that don't make sense based on my fat distribution, permanent soft baby face that lesbians seem to love, some body fat distribution that doesn't fit my otherwise hyper-masc body, and the way my junk functions now

after i was locked up i was basically at one of my most intense phases of addiction and this was before i got out and went hard on strength training. at the time i was still big but very enby presenting, smooth, and i easily hairline fractured my spine while locked up (possibly another effect of uncontrolled hormone fuckery?)

i still take kratom regularly as a way to avoid even thinking about seeking real opioids, but i wonder if it's just my way of keeping a lid on my T levels too. i don't get high from it but it does keep me feeling sane. i'll have more anecdotal data once i finally get on a proper E regimen and see if my kratom dose can be easily tapered.

i think it will. now please, DO NOT use this as an excuse to go seek out opioids for gender dysphoria. i do think this may explain why opioid abuse is so prevalent among transfemmes (besides the usual reasons) but we are a long way from making scientific connections there. it's an uncontrolled messy way to suppress T levels and will fuck your life up, especially with whats in today's junk. i was "lucky" enough to only have access to the finest smuggled afghani heroin smuggled over by our men in uniform and Langley and it still killed most of my friends.