this post was submitted on 23 May 2024
49 points (100.0% liked)

askchapo

23062 readers
108 users here now

Ask Hexbear is the place to ask and answer ~~thought-provoking~~ questions.

Rules:

  1. Posts must ask a question.

  2. If the question asked is serious, answer seriously.

  3. Questions where you want to learn more about socialism are allowed, but questions in bad faith are not.

  4. Try !feedback@hexbear.net if you're having questions about regarding moderation, site policy, the site itself, development, volunteering or the mod team.

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Sorry for the bummer question!

saw something that mentioned this being an AMAB-thing, but it definitely happened to me as well, and it just made me wonder how unusual it was to be punished (physically or otherwise) for crying as a girl

you can just yes/no, you don't need to get into it unless you want to

(feel free to unload, probably I'm not the only person who will relate)

all 12 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Othello@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"Fix your face before i give you something to cry about" was something I heard many times.

[–] the_itsb@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

😞 that sentence really takes me back

Not sure that spanking me ever made me stop crying though 😂😭🤦

did they take you to a mirror, too, to show you that crying made you ugly?

[–] Othello@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They did!!! And then I would see my face and cry more, then they would tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself. Another funny thing about the spankings were that if I managed to not cry at all, that means they didn’t hit me hard enough and had to hit me again, even harder. It’s all about crying the perfect amount.

[–] the_itsb@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago

Our families must have been working from the same manual

[–] whatnots@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago
[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm AMAB but my girlfriend isn't and since she doesn't have lemmy I will speak for her.

Yes, she was often told that she'd be given something to cry about and things similar to that. Her crying was called fake or pathetic or annoying.

[–] PapaEmeritusIII@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

Not punished exactly, but definitely shamed sometimes

Yes depending on the caretaker I was punished, ridiculed or ignored when I cried. (Maybe ignoring is also a form of punishment?)

Yes. And for being emotional otherwise too. Was also bullied a lot in school and learnt fast to not cry then either or it got so much worse. Can't say I have cried much as an adult as a result, or it might be because I am audhd.

I do believe this is one reason why neurospicy people like me get labelled as not showing emotion. The emotion is very much there, but it's supressed.