this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 136 points 3 months ago (6 children)

I know Anons are dumb, but are they voting for Nigel Farage dumb?

[–] OsaErisXero@kbin.run 35 points 3 months ago

Surely you know better than to ask that, Satan

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 30 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Anon has an American flag next to their post. They aren't really Bri'ish

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[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 28 points 3 months ago

They're so dumb that they're doing it ironically

[–] AlexisFR@jlai.lu 26 points 3 months ago

Well of course! Facism is the solution to an overbearing government, right?

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

Well the fact that they’re bigots helps them stomach it

[–] Kaboom@reddthat.com 4 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Which is worse, Thatcher or Farage?

[–] cynar@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Thatcher, may she burn in hell, was far better than Farage. She at least had significant political skill, and an actual plan for the UK.

Farage is a grifter of Trump's mindset, but a few more braincells.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If he actually wins Clapton then I think we should wall the entire region off, because clearly there's some kind of mind altering contaminant in the water.

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[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Thatcher’s thangs were thangin’ though.

[–] Kaboom@reddthat.com 3 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

Every time Thatcher sexily spoke about fiscal responsibility I got an inch and a half of blue steel in my sweatpants.

[–] rambling_lunatic@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 months ago

What do you expect from the gaseous and liquid excrement of Satan?

[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 48 points 3 months ago

American flag checks out.

[–] Renacles@lemmy.world 46 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Oi! Where's your greentext permit?

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[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 40 points 3 months ago (2 children)

This reminds me of how Brits were always totally obsessed with all the regulations that the unelected EU bureaucrats were supposedly inflicting on us all the time, and then you’d go to France and see kids diving off a high-board into a shallow pool contaminated with battery acid with absolutely no lifeguards to be seen, and generally no-one seems to give a shit.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yeah but you can't wear boxer style trunks otherwise they will shout at you. They have weird priorities over there

[–] leftzero@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Not all of France is like Paris, and the Seine is not a pool. (Plus, battery acid would probably count as a good attempt to clean it up, not as contamination.)

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 months ago

French people let their dogs shit absolutely everywhere and nobody cares. That was the really surprising thing for me.

Paris is beautiful but you better keep an eye on where you're stepping.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.world 35 points 3 months ago (1 children)

This reads like a satire of those greentexts that satirize the knife laws in Britain.

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 19 points 3 months ago

It definitely reads like it was written by an American.

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 27 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Fact check: they only casually call you a cunt in Scotland

[–] Aux@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Cunt is a greeting, not an offence.

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[–] lengau@midwest.social 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

True - in the south they call you a berk.

[–] SoGrumpy@lemmy.ml 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

In Cockney rhyming slang, the second half of the rhyme is mostly left off. In this case, the second half is left off and the first half is shortened.

Berkley Hunt = Cunt

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 3 points 3 months ago

I remember for a long time it was Jeremy

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 4 points 3 months ago

Not true, it just sounds more like Kant south of the border, which I think makes us sounds more philosophical.

[–] Reddfugee42@lemmy.world 26 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Conservatives making things up and getting angry about it

[–] cone_zombie@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

TV licence is a real thing though

[–] shinratdr@lemmy.ca 22 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

It’s just a way of funding the BBC that was devised before a TV was something that essentially everyone had. Since it’s delivered OTA it seemed easier to tax the device itself then it was to tax everyone unfairly. So calling it a “license” is fairly outmoded, it’s really a tax. You also don’t have to pay it if you don’t actually receive TV channels.

It should just be rolled into regular taxes now, but who is going to propose and approve a new tax in this day and age? So it’s easier not to touch it.

[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 months ago

I wish we had a TV tax in Canada. The funding of the CBC is a political football, so I sometimes feel like CBC News has to walk a tightrope to avoid having the government slash the budget.

It's probably better that there's just a tax on the device. Sure the UK government could meddle with that tax to cut the budget of the BBC, but it feels like it would be less likely since people would rightly ask why they're meddling with it. People are less likely to ask questions if the government is cutting a budget because "gotta pay off the national debt!"

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 22 points 3 months ago (5 children)

Queen's dodger can mean

  • someone who lives with the queen
  • someone who performs crimes on behalf of the queen
  • someone who finds those called for the draft but have not registered on behalf of the queen

Which is it?

[–] Hildegarde@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Surely a fruit filled biscuit is another possibility.

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[–] MargotRobbie@lemm.ee 21 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Tell me about it, it's like, every time I want to get some grilled prawns there's always someone who goes "Oi mate, where's yer Barbie license?"

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[–] echodot@feddit.uk 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Just so everyone's aware the police do not care if you have a TV license.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, that's handled by the Royal Guard.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 6 points 3 months ago

Only their TV department though

[–] LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

And here's some reality of over a decade of right-wing rule https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5aJ-57_YsQ

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[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I dont undrstand it but its funny

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 59 points 3 months ago (5 children)

To watch tv in UK you need a tv licence

This was done as sort of a tax to fund public television without taxing people who don’t use it

The person then concludes that they should have voted for the nazis because liberals bad

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I mean you do in the US as well, but it's called "A Netflix/Hulu/Disney Plus membership"

And it only funds one channel instead of dozens of TV, radio, web, apps, weather and news channels.

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 12 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Also publicly funded TV tends to be way better. They have somewhat more accountability so especially news, politics etc tends to be much better. For leisure programs that varies a bit more by country, but obviously the BBC has produced a lot of great stuff.

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[–] RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

We have those, too. You can choose not to pay for them.

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