This just in: After promising to kill himself and revealing it to just be a proposition that he revoked, the Delaware Court of Chancery is now forcing him to go through with the deal
this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023
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Imagine if every year we gathered the 5 most wealthy dumbasses in America and ritualistically forced them to suicide. Kinda like a purge except it's just the wealthy and the most wealthy. That would probably go exactly one time before whoever is the sixth richest and onwards are literally donating every dollar they have and begging for communism. I propose this method instead of our current "sanctions."
Not perfect, it'll surely go bad somehow, but hey! If I get to see Elon on his knees in tears being forced to jab a katana in his gut a bunch of times before Bezos beheads him, I'm willing to take some risks!
I can 100% guarantee that Elon would try to make his own suicide device and it would fail to kill him, he would claim he did it on purpose as a big brain way of getting out of the suicide pact when in reality his schematics were off
He's the world's greatest engineer, don't you know?
Ok, hear me out
One of those dildo machines
Replace dildo with katana
Replace butthole or other bodily orifices with Elon's belly
Lol, Jeffery Epstein style...
Do it motherfucker.
Nah, the closest to suicide he'll ever get to, will be getting Epstein'd...
Big if so