this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2024
649 points (97.7% liked)

Not The Onion

12203 readers
423 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

JD Vance briskly marched up to Air Force 2, Kamala Harris’ plane, planning to give political reporters a show as he confronted the vice president uninvited on Wednesday. His power-play dreams, like most of his chaotic veep run, were immediately thwarted once he realized Harris was not present. “I just wanted to check out my future plane,” Vance told campaign reporters gathered on the tarmac in Wisconsin.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] LadyMeow@lemmy.blahaj.zone 264 points 3 months ago (19 children)
[–] proudblond@lemmy.world 135 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Even if that phrase hadn’t been used ad nauseum already, this would be the right time to use it. This is truly a WTF move.

[–] toothpaste_sandwich@feddit.nl 58 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's all about projecting strength, especially towards women, bonus points if they're not white.

[–] WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.world 34 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

The entirety of conservative politics is narcissists trying to convince morons they embody strength and power...

A weaklings idea of strength.

A peasants idea of wealth.

A losers idea of a playboy.

An idiots idea of a genius.

A cowards idea of a hero.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (18 replies)
[–] kikutwo@lemmy.world 161 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Secret Service should have tazed his ass.

[–] Beaver@lemmy.ca 28 points 3 months ago

He is such a smelly stalker.

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 138 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (4 children)

you can't get shot for storming the VPs plane?

they just let you on it?

for all the innocuous things you can get shot for, storming the vice President's plane seems like one you would get shot for.

[–] Infynis@midwest.social 123 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Presumably, he also has secret service protection, so they knew he was coming. Hilarious they decided not to just tell him she wasn't there

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 88 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Oh, got it, thanks.

Not telling him is super funny.

Like the agents around him just giving each other knowing glances every now and then, inwardly giggling at how funny it's going to be when he rushes into an empty plane.

[–] Beaver@lemmy.ca 23 points 3 months ago

The toddler needs to vent.

[–] PumaStoleMyBluff@lemmy.world 21 points 3 months ago

Having flown out of the airport in question, it only has one gate, it's pretty tiny. Their planes were probably parked literally right next to each other, so it wasn't exactly out of his way

[–] tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone 58 points 3 months ago

Hell, you barely get prosecuted for storming Jan 6th

[–] mPony@lemmy.world 49 points 3 months ago

you can’t get shot for storming the VPs plane? they just let you on it?

When you're that rich they let you do it

[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

I think that was more likely had she been on it at the time.

[–] radix@lemmy.world 124 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Unlike normal commercial or charter planes, AF1 and AF2 have couches.

[–] Geek_King@lemmy.world 37 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's too bad JD Vance won't be joining the Couch Mile High Club on Air Force 2.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] MushuChupacabra@lemmy.world 71 points 3 months ago (1 children)

JD Couch Fucker Vance creates awkward photo op after failed political stunt.

[–] radicalautonomy@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

It certainly hasa bit of a "Paul Ryan gets soup kitchen employee to let him get pictures taken of him washing already-clean pans and giving a kid a pep talk and pissing off the manager" vibe.

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 66 points 3 months ago (3 children)

He heard about the couches on the plane....

[–] absentbird@lemm.ee 34 points 3 months ago (4 children)
[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 16 points 3 months ago (3 children)

There's a CRT TV, how old is this.

[–] FatCrab@lemmy.one 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of JD Vance masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] occhionaut@lemmy.world 24 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Sorry Vance, mile high club requires sex with a person

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip 60 points 3 months ago (1 children)

This might be the first time I have ever truly been glad that Veep ended 5 years ago. Because the writers would just be paralyzed by all of this stupidity.

[–] DominusOfMegadeus@kbin.earth 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That show got so dark by season 3 that I had to stop watching

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] x00z@lemmy.world 44 points 3 months ago (1 children)

America being the worldwide laughingstock when it comes to politics has lost it's charm. The last few years Idiocracy has become the better alternative.

[–] aidan@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (7 children)

The only people that think this are people obsessed with American media.

David Cameron has some association with a pig.

Modi has said some bizarre things about being a demigod.

Macron lectured a kid for saying "How's it going Manu?" instead of "How's to going, Mr. President"

Germany has a long history of very dumb policies, not unique to any specific politician. Such as banning protestors from chanting in any language other than English or German.

And many other things. Politics have dumb things and dumb people everywhere*- it's not uniquely American. American politics are just the most widely publicized internationally.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 37 points 3 months ago (2 children)

why was he not gun down by security?

[–] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 23 points 3 months ago

presumably his entourage of secret service people were in contact with Kamala's entourage of secret service people, and they were at no point worried of any threat of physical harm.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] bradorsomething@ttrpg.network 36 points 3 months ago (1 children)

In the 1980’s both sides would have laughed about this. But that was before everyone was slamming each other.

[–] SPRUNT@lemmy.world 31 points 3 months ago (1 children)

People were slamming each other all the time in the 80's. It's one of the reasons AIDS hit so hard.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] 108@lemmy.world 30 points 3 months ago (1 children)

He wanted to see how sexy the upholstery is.

[–] thesohoriots@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

“Are those couches real velour?

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 27 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I really don't understand what these stunts are trying to achieve.

[–] classic@fedia.io 20 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's the social media era. This is an organic extension of trolling, yt/IG/tik tok videos, etc...

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

That makes sense. Clearly a move for the Q crowd.

Fucking lame.

[–] LesserAbe@lemmy.world 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's content, it's eyeballs. People devoting thought cycles to him. Like we're doing now, reading an article about it, talking about it. Probably still a net loss in terms of public opinion, but for his supporters they probably think it's bad ass.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] razorwiregoatlick@lemmy.world 24 points 3 months ago

He really thought he was doing something there. What a weird fool.

[–] mokancan@infosec.pub 21 points 3 months ago
[–] slickgoat@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago

He was using his combat skills he learnt as a public relations specialist.

[–] crawancon@lemm.ee 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I think Bert kreisher, if he was on SNL, would be a great couch fucking JD Vance.

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Only because kreishers complete inability to be funny would further twist the knife on vances awkwardness.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›