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A seating chart for an "8 HOUR FLIGHT" with the text "PICK YOUR SEAT" at the top. The chart is composed of 10 numbered seats, each occupied by a different famous Republican politician or public figure, or the devil. Each number represents a seat, and each seat is either adjacent to or between one or two different individuals.
2, so I can finish the job the twink was unable to do
if I HAVE to, 3. we'd get along, he's not the bad guy. 2 if I were allowed to strike each time he opened his mouth.
Fuck it... I'll walk
10, and I would pay to do it.
Give me some one on one time with Linsey I think I can talk him out of the closet.
This is absolutely a "I'm not stuck here with you, you're stuck here with ME" situation.
9, might cop a gobby.
Time to invest in a glass knife I can get onto the plane.
This is a tough one. Initial thought is I'd sit next to Satan but then I'd have to smell Trumps poopy diaper. Maybe 9, at least there's the chance I'd get a HJ out of it.
4 Alex would be the most entertaining of the bunch.
I can ask him about this gay frogs and Sandy Hook
Can you do that with the rest of them too?
9, Bobo seems like she'd be down for some fun along the way
If my plane ticket says 9 you know damn well I'm bringing condoms.
#3 Because I know what a horny devil Satan is. Mile High club bitches!
But you're in the fart zone.
The whole bus looks like it'd be pretty smelly, to be fair. But sandwiched between Trump and Alex Jones...
8
Chat with Satan, argue with Botox Matt, kick Mitch McConnell's seat all flight.
Jump out of the plane mid-flight
I'll pick another flight.
9, because then I get to kick a pedophile in the head for 8 hours straight. 100% worth the arm rest neighbors.
The actual devil would probably be a pretty interesting flight neighbor. Fun fact, I'd talked to Hulk Hogan in person more than once in random places, he actually talks "like that" all the time. He called me "brother", was weird as fuck.
This is why I don't fly.
5 because JD Vance is DEFINITELY a closeted bottom, and as much as he sucks, he's pretty hot ngl
Next to Hogan I'll at least get to hear his absurd lies and he can tell me stories about wrestling, though the stories won't be accurate.
I'm between Green and Boebert, I might get a handjob but I'll get a brain aneurysm... Tough choices
I feel like Hogan and Mitch would talk to eachother. As long as I don't engage I'll be fine. Just put in my noise cancelling earbuds, queue up a couple hardcore histories, take 2 benadryl and wake up wherever we're going.
9 for the lawls, 5 for a nap.
Maybe 4 so I don't risk JD mistaking me for cushions while I'm passing by for the bathroom.
10, I can watch the show in front while the guy next to me turtle crawls to the grave
And if I get bored as a constituent I have words for Vance and I’m not afraid to speak across an aisle to inform him what I think
It's so freaking hard to choose because I want all of those seats.
It's not a matter of not wanting to sit next to them it's that I want to make all of their trips as horrible as possible.
I think if I had to though, I'd take 10 if it was the middle seat. I'd spend the entire trip punching them in the groin.
Which way are the seats facing? I figured down (Boebert sees the back of Thomas's head), since it's like you're looking at their faces as you're boarding. Some others figured top==front though (Thomas sees Boebert give you a handy)
ill take the wing, or risk the cold in the landing gear chamber