To be fair: 95% of people saying 'I get it' definetly didn't got it.
Sauce: Ask anyone working in IT support
The lighter side of ADHD
To be fair: 95% of people saying 'I get it' definetly didn't got it.
Sauce: Ask anyone working in IT support
I grew up getting talked over at home. At school I was bullied and ostracized. After entering the workforce, I've been quietly beaten down at every workplace and made to feel like I should STFU at all times.
Today, people ask me why I'm so quiet most of the time and why I don't attend non-mandatory work functions or teambuildings anymore. I can only smile faintly and fakely while agreeing with them that I must be shy or simply have nothing to contribute.
It is what it is.
Ah that sucks mate. Do you have any ND friends?
I don't have any friends, really. Not since Covid.
That really sucks. One can't survive without friends. Can't you endeavour to make some ND ones? They tend to be way more in sync.
Does anyone know people who tell you the same stories every other week and you already know it word by word? Do you say something or just wait awkwardly?
I only struggle when someone pauses after making a point that seems complete, only to start adding more points the moment i begin to reply. The most annoying part is that i feel like an asshole for just trying to engage. So then i sit there trying to multitask listening, holding into my response, editing it, and managing anxiety, which leads to missing most of their additional points. This varies wildly individual to individual.
Luckily people are pretty forgiving...
Strange... I don't remember making this comment and yet it's here already.
Are you me? This is literally me IRL ALL THE TIME!
In my experience though some people are forgiving, others not so much. But the ones that are often times can become friends
Hahaha yeah...
It's taken me waayyyy too long to recognize that someone being unforgiving about it is a red flag.
It took therapy to realize there are things i can't change about myself and this might be one. Still have to work on it but can't beat myself up over it.
The hardest part is not beating yourself up for things about yourself that you can't change
Yeah, people hate this. It's a serious struggle. You have to let them finish, and it's seldom easy to do that.
I just repeat my 'yes' and grunts and 'I see' in triples. Aha, aha, aha, yes, yes, yes, no, no, no, ok, ok, ok, click there, click there, click there, no, no, no, yes, yes, yes, NO-NO-NO HIGHER yes-yes-yes, okay sigh.
My wife absolutely hates it, though she knows why I do it.
I only have this problem with my sister who will spend 30 minutes just to get to the point after grabbing my attention with 1 foot out the door as I am trying to leave.
I always feel that itβs a sign of disrespect to forcefully hold my attention instead of just saying what they want.
I have ADHD, I work in tech.
I'm pretty sure I've of my more troublesome clients is both extremely rude and also needs Ritalin.
Every time I say anything, they interrupt me with a reply, except, 90% of the time, they've didn't actually understand what I was trying to say. The assumption they make about what I am saying is very consistently incorrect.
It's really quite aggravating.
This on really irks me as two people in my family are this wayβ¦ but always wrong. Itβs like having a conversation with an autocomplete engine thatβs always wrong. If you just let me finish my sentence, this would go way faster.
I miss Bob
Also annoying though are people who think they "get it", stop listening and be interruptive after a few words, and totally miss the crucial part that comes later.
Other neurodivergent people are hard to hang out with, except for sharing our grievances in memes :-)
Yes, this is a serious problem with some people. Far worse than OP's issue.
My wife has ADHD as well as myself. How often I'm trying to make a point by starting off on points that lead to that point, and she makes the point for me, conducts a counter argument, and wastes 30 seconds of me back pedaling to say that's not at all what I'm trying to get at.
I find that ND peeps are much easier to get along with.
Yeah i have realized all my friends thru the years are some kinna ND. I didn't plan it that way obviously. We NDs tend to find each other naturally
Then you finally give up and zone out for a bit.
Until you realize they just asked you a question.
My therapist helped this by saying that there are no points. forgetting what you are saying in order to let others in is part of the deal.
it happens literally multiple billions a times a day. be part of team "it is ok not to make my point".
it is a fun team to join.
That's all well and good until it's my turn to speak and I make an equally bad impression by having nothing to say.
This also happens to me in reverse. I get half a sentence out, the other person nods and says "yup" or "K", and then i say "yeah k so then anyway" and on to the next point
You'd go crazy in places like Japan where it can be common to use these verbal confirmations they're listening. Even considered rude or that you're not paying attention if you don't...
Is that an ADHD thing?
It's the impulse control and anxiety & frustration that builds from not giving in to the impulse that's the challenge. That's if you're aware of the issue that if you do give in to the impulse you will likely come off as a dismissive asshole, and probabaly even condescending.
I have inattentive ADHD, so for me it's not an impulse thing, it's the fact that I'll forget what I was going to say by the time someone has finished. So either I interrupt or we sit awkwardly while I try and remember what I was going to say and it sucks.
I have mixed. The impulse control sucks as well as forgetting comments. I've come up with some mechanisms to help me remeber from notes, making a fist and holding up a finger for each thing I want to say, etc. Sometimes my comments/questions are answered if I wait too. I sometimes still forget. However, the urge to grip my hands together and claw at the skin on my hands is very real if I resist the impulse to jump in or rush the person to their point.
It's not. Most of the things posted to this sub are just wrong.
Warning for rule 1
Looked on the sidebar to see what rule 1 was and saw "1. No porn" and was very confused until I noticed that I was looking at my instance's rules. Thanks Alexandrite.
Im more on the
"I need you to repeat that second half because something you said in the first half sent me down an entirely different line of thinking and i stopped listening to you and only pretended to"
Side of things
Sounds very similar to my, "I have something relevant and important to say and you're moving past the past where it's relevant!" And it's always with someone who acts like I'm always interrupting when actually they are constantly interrupting.
Omg, I hate this feeling.
If Iβm drunk I just canβt handle it, and end up attempting to truncate what they are saying with a graceful and quick demonstration of my understanding to move things along. Mixed results ensue.
My partner does this all the time. Unfortunately, theyβre often completely wrong about what I was trying to say. Suddenly weβre having two completely different conversations simultaneously.