thinking about that home made pesto pasta I had the otther day again. damn that shit was so good. fresh basil just has such a smell and absolute powerful verdant look to it in pesto

I have a sudden urge to kiss girls

seeing random chuds say 'deeply unserious' now we're so owned

Wearing lolita to class for the first time using the cover of halloween, feel amazingly cute rn

no clue what we're going to do with our hair still >~< so complicated

I'm really proud of myself for wearing a skirt in public all day yesterday, I felt quite cute. it probably helped that my partner was there, but tbh I realized I could have done it without her too

with how much I struggle to feel qualified for feminity with my body the way it currently is, this was a really good step. it'll definitely make the wait till surgery easier if I feel a bit better too :p

I think my housemates are coming to hate me, they never seen to want to talk to me or spend time with me and always make plans with each other without including me. They don't seem to be interested in me or my life at all. They make decisions about the house without me and then just expect me to pay for things they buy for the house. One of them is a very good friend of ten years, and I think living with me has made him dislike me.

I've been spending a lot of time in my room alone lately because they seem to not want to talk to or see me. And I don't really want to see people who don't want to see me.

I remember one time I went out in public with eyeliner and painted nails this old white woman came up to me and said as sweetly as possible "Jesus loves you" before walking away. Chat what does this mean

not going out tonight, too busy singing a meatball marinara song to my dog

One day I will upgrade from a "service dog in training" and become a "service dog"

there needs to be some sort of "how to cry guide" for trans creatures,,,,, we have yet to figure it out

Another pair of jeans down

Thighs too thick 😔✊️

I just scheduled my first hair appointment under my girl name and she/her pronouns.

I've always hated getting my haircut, so I'm more than a little anxious about going. The salon is queer friendly, but it still took like an hour to work up the courage to schedule it. They even ask for pronouns in the booking interface.

Cleaned my earholes with hydrogen peroxide and now kirby 64 ost sounds even better

Damn I should've started injections nine years ago lmfao (along with progesterone I'm seeing some decent breast growth)

Me when I feel less anxious/more certain about HRT when people treat it positively instead of like I'm poisoning myself

Starting as soon as the pharmacy ships to me. Feel a little bad not telling my mom about it but if she wanted to be in the loop maybe she shouldn't have reacted so drastically¯⁠\⁠(⁠°⁠_⁠o⁠)⁠/⁠¯ plus my family doesn't tell me things all the time so not like they're some shining example

I'm looking up at the mirror on my bedroom door and I see a girl on her bed. It's freaking me out a bit but in a good way. This same human I've become so acquainted with seeing, I'm actually successfully conceptualizing her as a woman without going "ughghg but I look like a guy." This is so bizarre, but sooooooo cool

I think I can manage bottom dysphoria if I can find a way to never have spontaneous erections again 🤔

Homosexual Desire in Revolutionary Russia

Well... if I were to ever do one of those "self publish e-book slop on Amazon" things... I've got a title for the series.

Thank you for your call, we are experiencing higher than normal call volumes...

I don't think I've called a big company since like 2009 where they weren't experiencing "higher than normal call volumes." On the one hand, it makes sense that I'd be calling during their busy times I guess. But every time?

Boys cute.

I actually scheduled a consult with a voice coach. It's been like, idk a year now and I have made no progress with my voice so hoping that a voice coach can help me. Only problem is that I'm not out at work so I will not be able to go full time with my voice :(

I remember being pretty good at linear algebra once, calculus never really stuck though. I vaguely remember it all like a dream but maybe if I could get some materials I've no real use for it but prob beats being a gamer

I still miss sharing a bed with someone else 😭

Not even for sex or for cuddles, just the light snoring and warmth is what I miss the most

actually building a lego

My girl shorts arrived and I’m in love with the way I look in them 🥹 but I might have to get tucking panties or some shit like that if I ever want to wear them outside my bedroom 🥲 I was worried medium might be too small but it’s just right and maybe even a little loose lol

sigh

if i want a GF i have to download shudders the apps, don't I?

yeah :(

Put on my old grey sweatpants (only a few years old tbh) and

Can't really wear my old clothes anymore IG. estrogen is magic fr

Almost crying today realizing just how far I've already gone. Something happened two years ago that should have signaled me toward transitioning, but I got here eventually 🥹

Obligatory: Best decision of my life :niko-dance:

Thinking about the time I texted my sister "okay but what if I was trans" one evening, and then the next morning followed it up with a good 'ol "lol nvm."

And now here we are like a year later.

car is fixed for reals this time